New Plan, Day Ten

I was up late (until at least 4) talking with that guy friend who's not my boyfriend (he needs a nickname) and slept in until 12 again. I think at some point it'd be more accurate to say I'm already on a bad sleep schedule. Anyway, I was in a bad mood all day because I have a big deadline I've been avoiding and my parents are making me insane preparing for a big party they're throwing this weekend.

See the thing with this party... it's not like I have a say in what they do here, since it's their house. Not holding this party would be tantamount to canceling Christmas, so no matter how much I really needed to spend this week and this coming weekend working on my thesis (and needed a quiet house instead of one bustling with cleaning and the constant nagging to help clean, because obviously I have NOTHING better to do...), they are only concerned with getting ready for the party. And whereas I want to be able to focus on schoolwork and my job work, I now have to halt all progress and focus on getting my room clean (even though I really want to just lock the door) and cleaning the common areas of the house where I keep things, like my painting studio that is in the kitchen, where most of the party always congregates. Also, I don't really want to see a bunch of family and my parents' friends because honestly, I'd rather put my head down and finish my thesis, or have a quiet weekend at home. This party literally couldn't come at a worse time, and I am completely dreading it.

This is to say nothing of what it's going to do to my diet, which is going dreadfully in terms of progress (I weighed myself, it's not good). Anyway, on with the day.

Breakfast, 1pm

• ham and cheese on Lite whole-grain English muffin
• navel orange
• 12 oz. Coke Cherry Zero

While preparing this, I read the nutrition information on the English muffins and was pleasantly surprised that they are only 100 calories, so they do count as just one bread (this was a disagreement I had with my mother), and that they have 8 grams of dietary fiber to boot. Not bad.

It is also worth noting that this was the last of the caffeinated soda in the house, which has put me in a terrible mood. Both of my parents cannot function without coffee or tea in the morning (I don't really do well with either - the acidity burns holes in my stomach), yet they couldn't care less about when we run out of soda. My father seems to view it primarily as a mixer for rum drinks, and my mother doesn't really care what she drinks, but will drink all the soda if it's there, then not worry about replacing it. I know this is my own neurosis, but it is SO annoying.

Lunch, 5pm

• beef tacos with cheese, salsa, lettuce, tomatoes, pickled jalapeños and fresh cilantro
• 24 oz. water (np)

I made these from leftovers a little before dinner, in the middle of tense conversations with both of my parents. They were fine, but I didn't enjoy them the way I usually love tacos because I was in the middle of a terrible day. Ugh.

Dinner, 8pm

• turkey tostada made with ground turkey, salsa, spices, reduced-fat Cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, sliced avocado, pickled jalapeños, and fresh cilantro on a whole wheat wrap
• 24 oz water (np)

My mother kind of annoyed the bejesus out of me while cooking these. Last week I tried showing her how to make them, and she wouldn't pay attention. Then I explained it about five or six times and said it's really the same exact preparation as tacos, just with turkey. When she was buying groceries for the week, I said I cannot cook anything until after Wednesday because of this stupid deadline for school stuff, and she bought groceries for meals that she claims only I know how to cook. Disregarding that she's the one who taught me how to make tacos in the first place, who doesn't know how to make tacos?!

Gah. Today is really frustrating. Anyway, this tostada was messy and the wrap fell apart whenever I tried to make something I could hold. I was also disgusted and annoyed because my family has somehow gotten in the habit of eating dinner in the TV room. This wouldn't be so bad, except that room has only two armchairs in it for furniture, and my dad uses the spare kitchen chair they bring in as a table. So my options are usually to ask him to stop using it as a table and sit in the greasy spot where he spilled turkey meat (I did that last night) or sit on the floor with my back to the radiator, with two big dogs panting in my face. I absolutely hate eating in that room, and I'd finally had it and decided to eat the rest of my dinner at the dining room table like a person.

Dessert, 9pm

• Yoplait Light yogurt, red velvet cake flavor
• sliced kiwi

I'm not sure I even really tasted this. I was fuming over stupid arguments with my parents and frustration about not being able to concentrate on work. There is literally not a single room in the house where I can do schoolwork right now, and they couldn't care less. They don't actually realize that if I can't get this work done, I will not graduate, and my father keeps harping on that if I really wanted to, I could write my thesis in three days. He has no idea what he's talking about, nor does my mother, because neither of them have written a graduate dissertation before, but they seem to think it's just a big paper. I want to cry.

Late-night Snack, 11pm

• bowl of tomato soup with basil, salt and fresh cracked pepper
• 16 oz. Crystal Light lemonade (np)

I had closed myself up in my room trying to get anything done, and I couldn't concentrate because my parents were bickering about something and coming in literally every few minutes to talk to me about nonsense. I took a break on Facebook, where my mom started IMing me, pestering me to play my word in Scrabble. I nearly threw my computer out the window and told her I was going to drive to the store to buy soda and while I was there I was going to get cookies too, since it doesn't matter what I do this week, the whole diet is going to get ruined this weekend. She responded by saying if I do get cookies, only get enough for myself because she has no self control if they're in the house. Then nagged me about laundry, while the machines were still full of her laundry and like, the sheets to the guest bed and curtains and stuff.

I went downstairs and decided to have soup and found the dregs of a pitcher of lemonade in the fridge. I was so tired and had such a caffeine-deprivation headache by this point that I just slurped down both and went to bed, annoyed beyond belief.

Summary
Today was a stupid, frustrating day. I want to move out of my parents' house immediately, but I have nowhere to go. That's how I started living here in the first place, and that's the same situation I'll be in IF I am able to graduate. My life is enormously stupid.

New Plan, Day Nine

I don't know why, but I slept until after noon today. I wasn't even really tired, but I think I was avoiding responsibilities.

Breakfast, 12:30pm

• ham and cheese toasted on Lite whole grain English muffin
• navel orange
• 12 oz. Diet Fanta orange (not pictured)

It was an interesting contrast between real orange and orange soda - I really enjoyed both.

Lunch, 3pm

• leftover chicken, vegetable and tomato risotto
• fresh herb salad with creamy Caesar dressing
• 12 oz. Coke Cherry Zero

I worried that this wouldn't reheat well (because risotto is famous for its fickleness and ability to quickly turn to slop if not treated gently), but in fact I think it got better after a little time in the fridge for the Arborio rice to absorb even more tomato flavor. It looks dry in this photo, but once I stirred it up, it was creamy, delicate, and really tasty. It had barely any chicken in this serving, which is probably good since I worry about how long ago that was first cooked - I'll have to thank my father for picking so much of the chicken out when it was in the fridge.

Pre-Dinner Snack, 8pm

• fresh herb salad with creamy Caesar dressing
• several glasses of Diet Coke (I lost count)

While my mother was cooking dinner, I was hovering, and of course standing in a kitchen while food is cooking is the easiest way to get hungry. I kept milling around trying to think of something to eat and finally decided on a salad, which I inhaled.

Dinner, 8:15pm

• beef tacos with reduced fat Cheddar cheese, salsa, sliced avocado, Romaine lettuce, tomatoes, pickled jalapeños and fresh cilantro
• 24 oz. Diet Coke (not pictured)

Oh man, so delicious. I don't think there will ever be a time in my life when I couldn't go for a taco, and these were superb. I ranted and raved while eating them, feeling like I was pigging out.

Snacks, 10-11:30pm

• Yoplait Light Thick n' Creamy yogurt, Cinnamon bun flavor (not pictured)
• 2 caramel popcorn cakes with sugar-free Concord grape jelly
• navel orange (np)
• broccoli florets dipped in Walden Farms calorie-free Ranch dressing
• 72 oz. water (np)

I'm not sure what to say except that I was grazing. I wasn't hungry per se - dinner was very satisfying and filling. It was more like having the munchies, which I think is hormone-related at the moment. I was going for crunchy foods in the popcorn cakes and broccoli, though I realize now that the cakes probably put me over for breads.

The broccoli was surprisingly delicious, even if I had a "who are you and what have you done with Vicki?" moment as I was preparing it to eat. I'm still mystified by how a dressing (which was actually rather tasty) could be calorie free, and it seems to have a lot to do with Xanthan gum and other wacky chemical food additives more frequently encountered in molecular gastronomy. Mmmm, delicious science.

I also drank all of my waters in one shot, two bottles in a row and the third about 45 min later. I dunno, it's just easier to sit and sip it through my water bottle straw, and if I have to spend an hour or two having to pee every 15 min, it seems less awful than feeling like I'm about to wet my pants all day.

Summary

I had an enormous appetite today, which is dangerous when combined with an utter lack of activity. I think I made decent choices, and I'm glad I got 9 waters in, though I forgot I was supposed to aim for 10-12. Sigh. One more bottleful.

I really need to do some exercise, but I've been using a looming deadline (which I've been procrastinating like a champ) as an excuse not to do anything. Disorganization and poor time management have a global negative effect on my life, but I am also starting to see the clear ways they impact my diet and fitness. I may elaborate more on that in a separate post.

New Plan, Day Eight

I slept in again this morning, for no good reason, until about 10. I know that my sleep schedule is getting progressively worse, so I should make some effort to get on track.

Breakfast, 12:30pm

• low-fat cottage cheese mixed with honey toasted wheat germ, on double protein bread
• navel orange

I figured I should eat the rest of the cottage cheese before I even wonder if it's turning. I don't know why I'm so sensitive to food freshness, but the thought of spoiled dairy gives me chills.

I added twice the wheat germ this time, since I read the nutrition facts and saw it only had 1g of dietary fiber per serving. This, combined with the 3g from the bread, put me at 4 before I ate the orange. I started wondering about the RDA for dietary fiber and varying internet sources put it around 24g for a 2000 calorie diet. I don't actually know if you should have more or less if you're on a lower calorie diet, and for that matter, I don't actually know what kind of calorie diet I'm on. Part of me wants to investigate and add it up, but most of me is equally aversive to doing the math and finding out the number. It's much better for me to look at things as exchanges and try to eat right rather than treat my body like a not-always-reliable math problem to solve.

Lunch, 3:30pm

• leftover Cuban pork and Arborio rice with vegetables
• 12 oz. Diet Coke (not pictured)
• 24 oz. water

I was in the middle of working on something, so this was a nice quick meal to pop in the microwave and enjoy.

Dinner, 8:30pm

• chicken stir-fry with carrots, celery, green beans, water chestnuts, bamboo shoots, and fresh cilantro cooked in chicken broth and soy sauce, with ginger and other spices, over rice
• 24 oz. Diet Coke (not pictured)
• 24 oz. water

My mom made her beloved chicken stir-fry, to great success. Our whole family loves this meal, and I really enjoyed so many fresh vegetables. I worried a little that I may have gone over for the amount of chicken in my serving, but I think it ended up alright.

Snack, 11pm

• Yoplait Light Thick n' Creamy, cinnamon bun flavor
• navel orange
• 24 oz. water

As usual, love this yogurt. When I realized I'd hit almost all of my exchanges for the day, I had my second fruit and the rest of my water to try to make it a perfect day.

My mom and I talked a little this evening about how it doesn't really feel like dieting, still, and because we're eating such delicious, balanced meals, we feel really satisfied and almost like we're indulging when eating right.

Summary

Today was a great day - I got a lot of work done, I forgot I was on a diet, I was energetic and able to concentrate, and I even got all my waters in. The only downside is that I feel like every time I turned around I had to pee. I'm sure I'll get used to it with time.

New Plan, Day Seven

I just realized that the days I've been on this diet, so far, correspond with the dates of the month. Neat.

So I was up very late last night talking with someone... I would say more, but I'm still pretty paranoid that my Blogger account will somehow link this site through Google Buzz and publish everything I say directly to him, which would make for a horribly embarrassing situation.

On one hand I need for this site to be anonymous, so that I can be honest with myself and use it in a meaningful way (not to mention that I'm publishing my weight and information about my colon health on the internet), but then I also realize that anyone who knew me could probably easily figure out it's me if they happened across this page. I also know that at least one of my friends and my ex-boyfriend know the URL and could share it with other people at any time (wow, I hope that doesn't happen). Still, I don't want to start self-censoring or going back and deleting overly personal things, because it's really helpful for me to keep track of my health and thoughts on things.

Anyway, because I was up until 4, I slept in until 10:30 and was a little groggy. In days gone by, I might have slept in until late in the afternoon, so at least I'm still up in the morning, but I know I should make more of an effort to have a consistent sleep schedule.

Breakfast, 12pm

• low-fat cottage cheese mixed with honey toasted Wheat germ and spread on wholegrain Double Protein toast
• navel orange
• 12 oz. Coke Cherry Zero (not pictured)

I wasn't really sure how to explain this bread, so I took a photo of its bag. It evidently has "18 grams of whole grains" (I wish they would just put it in terms of dietary fiber, but it's 3g per 18g of carbohydrates) and 14 grams of protein per 2 slices, so 7 in this one. All that notwithstanding, it was delicious, and I really enjoyed its flavor with the cottage cheese and subtle sweetness of the wheat germ.

This was a nice breakfast, and as much as I adore the ham and cheese breakfasts, I figure it's a good idea to mix it up a little, especially if I can find ways to work wheat germ into it, since I want my hair to get healthier.

Whining about my Skin and Hair

Boy, I am chatty today. So something that happened this week, which could be hormonal, stress, could be from not showering one day, could be from using a different shampoo and soap, or could be from all of the above, is that my skin and hair went to hell. I don't mean like dry or frazzled, I mean greasy as anything. My hair was so gross that if I showered in the morning, it would look as if I hadn't by the afternoon. I know I need to get it cut, but this was a pretty noticeable change.

As a consequence, or perhaps in a related phenomenon, my skin erupted in tiny pimples, especially around my hairline, eyebrows, nose and chin. While I would generally complain that I have bad skin because I have a lot of clogged pores (makeup) and occasional breakouts, it's never like this. I look like I'm thirteen again!

I'm sure it is coincidental to having started this diet, since my body can't possibly object that much to healthy food and water, but it's certainly a pain in the neck. I was already planning to lighten my hair today, which will probably cut the grease a little, and I'll switch back to my regular shampoo from the super moisturizing kind I'd been using. I'm going to really wash the hell out of my Clarisonic brush and try to be more consistent with which face products I use. Also change my sheets, clean my room up, and not skip any more showers! I hope all this, combined with my hormones sorting themselves out, will fix my skin quickly because man, it's not pretty.

Lunch, 3pm

• leftover Cuban pork with rice
• fresh herb salad with lite creamy Caesar dressing
• tomato soup with herbs and pecorino Romano
• Yoplait Light fat-free yogurt, Boston cream pie flavor (not pictured)
• 32 oz. Diet Coke

The pork and rice was, predictably, delicious, maybe even more than last night since the flavors melded together more. I also shouldn't discount the anticipation, knowing that this was delicious food I couldn't wait to eat again.

The other components of this meal were sort of like grazing, thinking through what foods I had that I could eat for my exchanges. Always tasty, of course, and I loved the yogurt. I do worry that my "pinches" of pecorino Romano are getting a bit too big... even if I use them as my main fats, I should be careful not to go over.

Dinner, 9pm

• chicken, vegetable and tomato risotto
• 24 oz. Diet Coke
• navel orange (not pictured)

My family agreed we'd have leftovers tonight, and while I very much wanted more pork, I knew the chicken and vegetables from last week would go to waste if I didn't have them. I livened them up with crushed tomatoes, then added water and Arborio rice, simmering and stirring until it took on the feel of a very tasty, creamy risotto. I'm completely obsessed with Arborio rice and risottos at the moment, so this was a great dinner.

Snack, 11:30pm

• Yoplait Light fat-free yogurt, Apple turnover flavor
• 12 oz. Diet Coke
• 24 oz. water

It's nice having three servings of dairy, as that means I can enjoy another yogurt as a dessert. The apple turnover was crazy delicious, as all of these yogurts are, which really takes the edge off of dieting.

I've been guzzling Diet Coke all day, and I didn't realize until almost midnight that I hadn't had any water, so I began a campaign of drinking all 72 oz. between 11:30 and 1:30. I haven't been mentioning when I take the fiber supplements, but I took an extra one today. I can't actually find my other vitamins, so I haven't been taking those yet.

Summary

Today was very satisfying, food-wise - I actually felt like I was pigging out. I did realize that when I was procrastinating schoolwork I needed to do, or when I was just puttering around the house, I kept wanting to snack. Instead I took that fidgeting energy and applied it toward lightening my hair (it came out nice), doing a mini facial with scrubs and a grease-fighting mask, and reading art monographs (always a pleasure). My skin and hair are looking a lot better already, and I hope they continue to improve as the week goes on.

I feel like I'm cheating when I drink all my water in one go. It's not like I'm not drinking any fluids - I had quite a hefty amount of Diet Coke, but I know that's not enough. Anyway, I have to assume it still does its job without major diminished efficacy.

Weigh-In, Week Two

After about a week of dieting, I was a little nervous about weighing in this morning.



At 179.5, it turns out those fears were unfounded. I lost 2.5 pounds this week, and I'm really happy about that.



I'll try to get more sophisticated about a graph when I have a few more data points to enter. Right now I've lost 4% of the weight I want to lose. 59.5 pounds to go.

I made a weight loss ticker thing too, though it won't be accurate after I enter new data each week. Oh well.




My mother lost 5 pounds, which I found rather remarkable. At first she shrugged it off saying she had a lot more to lose, but then she started theorizing about how she must have eaten more vegetables or been more active. I also know that I'm supposed to get my period this week, so I'm retaining water a little and my metabolism always gets sluggish this time in the month. I have to remember it's not a contest - I'm really happy to lose at all!

The Week in Review, Week One

I weigh in tomorrow morning, and while I've only been on this diet for a week, I'm feeling really good about being able to do this as a real lifestyle change this time.


(click to see larger)

The meals I've prepared were mostly fantastic: colorful, flavorful, full of fresh vegetables, and really satisfying. I think I'm developing staples in the ham and cheese breakfast, flatbread pizzas for lunch, and tomato soup for snacks (yum).

The dinners I enjoyed most this week were the tacos and turkey tostada... and the Cuban pork, which I guess says how much I love Mexican and Cuban flavors. So much the better, since they're quick and easy to cook too.

I struggled with water this week, though I think I'm improving. I also barely exercised at all - now that the weather is starting to look up, perhaps I can get myself running again this coming week.

All in all, I'm feeling good, and I hope to see that reflected in some kind of weight loss in the morning. Either way, I know my body is benefitting from healthier foods and so many fresh vegetables.

New Plan, Day Six

I woke up about 8:30 feeling much better than yesterday (several stresses alleviated), and I was overjoyed that it was sunny outside.

Breakfast, 10:30am

• ham and cheese toasted on a whole grain English muffin
• navel orange
• 12 oz. Coke Cherry Zero

I really love this breakfast - it's great to start my day with protein and some fresh fruit. I have a feeling it's going to become the usual.

Exercise, 12pm

• walked approximately 1.97 miles, at a slow pace

I went for another dog walk with my parents, on the same route as the other day, but I couldn't find my pedometer, so I don't have the exact distance or pace. I know it was slow, but at least I got outside and enjoyed the sunshine. I spent the afternoon out in the yard as well, which I think is very good for me.

Lunch, 2pm

• flatbread pizza made with tomato sauce, part-skim mozzarella, mushrooms, and broccoli, seasoned with basil, garlic powder, salt, fresh black pepper, red pepper, and nutmeg
• 32 oz. Diet Dr Pepper (not pictured)

I am so in love with these pizzas, I feel like I could eat them every day and still want to sing songs about them. Yum.

Dinner, 8pm

• Cuban pork cooked with Arborio rice, tomatoes, green beans, green peppers, and tons of paprika
• 12 oz. Coke Cherry Zero (not pictured)
• 24 oz. water
• herb salad with Lite Creamy Caesar dressing

My mom found this recipe online (I'll ask her for the source tomorrow), and it was incredibly delicious. I don't usually eat pork (then again I don't usually eat eggs either), but prepared this way, with so much flavor from paprika and cumin, it was tremendous. I could have eaten five more bowls of this, and fortunately, we have enough leftovers that I can have it for future meals.

Snack, 11pm

• Yoplait Light Thick n' Creamy, cinnamon roll flavor (not pictured)
• 2 caramel popcorn cakes (not pictured)
• 48 oz. water

I realize that I went over for my dairy, but I've decided that I'm going to allow myself 3 low-fat servings of dairy rather than 2, after reading a little bit about the benefits of dairy in weight loss. Technically I think the popcorn cakes should have been a bread, but they're so low in calories and have such a good trade-off of dietary fiber to carbohydrates that I'm inclined to call them a wash.

I really wanted to get all my water in for the day, so I spent some time chugging it late at night. I don't know if that will have much health benefit beyond making me wake up fifteen times in the middle of the night to pee, but hey, at least I got 9 glasses in.

Summary

Today was a pretty great day. I really enjoyed all the food, and I got in my waters. I got to spend time outside and generally moving around doing stuff, which makes my body feel nice. My mom and I talked about how even if we find we haven't lost weight tomorrow, we're winning already, and that feels great.

New Plan, Day Five

I slept until about 9 this morning, but I didn't sleep well because I was worried about a family member having surgery today. I spent the morning sipping Coke Cherry Zero and fretting, puttering around doing this and that but nothing really worthwhile.

"Breakfast," 1:30pm

• 1/2 green pepper and 1 egg cooked with fresh black pepper, salt, and red pepper in 1 TBSP olive oil
• 7 reduced fat Triscuits
• 1/4 papaya, sliced, with lime juice
• 24 oz. water
• 12 oz. Coke Cherry Zero (not pictured)

It was silly to wait so long to eat breakfast, as my appetite had kind of dwindled by the time I did. I have been savoring meals lately, and this time I was just kind of "meh" about it. I'm not discouraged about dieting - I'm still loving it actually - I think I'm just in a general malaise from worrying and procrastinating school and work stuff.

Lunch, 4:30pm

• bowl of tomato soup with basil, salt, fresh black pepper, and pecorino Romano
• a few horrible bites of radicchio with balsamic vinegar
• 24 oz. water (not pictured)
• 24 oz. Diet Coke (not pictured)

The soup was fantastic, as usual, but the radicchio was just inedibly gross. A friend of mine grilled some when we were in Italy and drizzled it in balsamic, proclaiming it a heavenly flavor. I wasn't able to recreate that and came up instead with unevenly warm, powerfully bitter dreck that couldn't even be saved by some really tasty balsamic. Blech.

Dinner, 9pm

• leftover chicken with vegetables
• 9 asparagus spears (not pictured)
• 24 oz. water (not pictured)
• 12 oz. Diet Coke (not pictured

I was in a foul mood (I have been really on edge and irritable all day today), and I got annoyed when my mother pawned off her turn at cooking dinner onto my father, who prepared an undercooked hunk of beef and leftover orzo that was about to turn. We bought a special asparagus steamer last week, but somehow he even managed to make that weird - I think he left it on the stove steaming after they served themselves from it, as the bottom halves of the spears resembled his overcooked mushy broccoli. As I pondered the mysteries of a man who can so consistently undercook meats and overcook vegetables, at the same time, I decided I would have leftovers instead.

This was not bad without rice, but probably would have been better with it. I can't say I really enjoyed this meal, since things were a little terse with my parents through it, but at least it was full of vegetables and satisfying.

Snack, 10:30pm

• Yoplait Light fat free yogurt, Red velvet cake flavor
• Yoplait Light Thick n' Creamy, cinnamon bun flavor

I was overjoyed to realize I hadn't had any dairy yet today, so I indulged in two tasty yogurts. I really love these dessert flavors - they're so much more interesting than fruit-flavored yogurts, and the thick kind is such a treat.

Summary

I only reached 6 glasses of water, as I fell asleep before finishing my third bottleful. I was in a junky mood all day, which I think is more stress and hormone-related than anything else, will have to work on keeping that under control.

New Plan, Day Four

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I fell asleep downstairs until 6am, so my sleep was not what it should have been. I moved up to my bed and slept until 8am, but I was in a bad mood because I needed to drive a lot and deal with some stressful stuff at work.

Breakfast, 9am

• ham and cheese on a light whole grain English muffin
• cubed cantaloupe
• 48 oz. water
• 12 oz. Diet Coke

I was right that ham and cheese would be even better on the muffin - it crisped up nicely and felt more "breakfasty". I was pleased with myself for chugging so much water, and right after drinking one bottleful, I had a second, so that I was six glasses in before I'd even gotten in the shower.

I then drank another 24 oz. of water in my car while driving, such that I'd had 9 glasses before lunch. My smugness over this fact was dampened by just how desperately I needed to pee by the time I got to campus. There was more than an hour extra of traffic, and in the last 45 min or so, I was certain I was going to wet my pants. That was super uncomfortable, and I cursed myself for drinking so damn much water so fast. I think I need to spread it out a little more carefully throughout the day.

Lunch, 1pm

• steamed vegetable dumplings with soy-ginger dipping sauce (not pictured)
• 12 oz. water

I was an hour late to my lunch meeting, thanks to traffic, and I was anxious about eating at a Thai place because I love Thai food so much, but it's not always the healthiest (at least not what I like). Fortunately, these dumplings were delicious and satisfying, and by ordering the veggie kind, I was pretty sure they were light enough on fat that they wouldn't blow my diet. I explained to my coworkers/friends that I am dieting again, hence the relatively small appetizer for lunch, and they just shrugged. I guess I talk about wanting to lose weight and get healthier pretty frequently, and prior to formally dieting again, I had been trying to make smarter choices all year.

I had to laugh about drinking more water, but I thought that a soda, with caffeine, would make matters even worse, and the water was free.

I spent the rest of the afternoon stressing about work/school stuff and stopping to pee what felt like every 20 minutes. The drive home was also traffic-heavy (argh), so I had another close call between the driveway and our house. I hate that antsy feeling of constantly having to pee, but I hope my body will get over that as it becomes accustomed to so much more water.

Dinner, 9pm

• chicken quesadilla made with chicken breast and reduced fat Cheddar cheese in a whole grain tortilla
• homemade guacamole
• 24 or more oz. Diet Coke (not pictured)

When I planned the menu for this week, I scheduled it so that I would cook the first three meals, and my mom would take over from Thursday forward. I was trying to make it pleasant for everyone, by giving my parents a break on meals and getting us all warmed up to the concept of eating healthier with way more vegetables.

Tonight my mother took over, and I was happy for that, as she makes fantastic quesadillas and arguably the world's best homemade guacamole. This meal felt like a treat, even though she made it within the diet guidelines, and we were all happy to have one of our favorites.

Late-night Snack, 2am

• 2 caramel popcorn cakes with Smart Balance peanut butter
• 12 oz. Coke Cherry Zero

Once again, I fell asleep in a chair after dinner (watching Planet Earth with my dad, who was snoring beside me), but this time I woke up early enough to move up to my bed for something more closely resembling a proper night's sleep. I was really hungry, which was weird (probably not enough vegetables), and desperately craving sweets. I didn't want to go over on my milks with a yogurt, and I rationalized that the dietary fiber in these popcorn cakes probably made them an okay bread, though it did put me well over my breads for the day. The peanut butter was so good I didn't care that I'd probably used my fats with guacamole, and I resolved to have much more vegetables and take it easy tomorrow.

Summary

Today was mostly a success, in that I drank even more than my 8 glasses of water (I think I totaled 10 glasses), but I'm going to have to spread them out better so I don't walk around worrying about peeing myself all day. I could have done better on vegetables and had less bread, but I think the choices I'm making are still pretty sensible and realistic for lifestyle changes.

New Plan, Day Three

I slept in until 8, which felt downright luxurious. It was a cold, rainy and occasionally snowy morning, so it was good to face it well-rested and feeling good.

Breakfast, 10:30am

• ham and cheese on a whole wheat roll
• cubed cantaloupe
• 24 oz. water

Because I was cold and put off by the weather, I really wanted a hot breakfast, and I realized that if I prepared this sandwich open-faced and heated it under the broiler, it would fit the bill perfectly. I might have swapped the whole grain roll for one of the light multigrain English muffins we got - will keep that in mind for future.

I Googled the serving size for cantaloupe and have come up with around 1 cup, which in this instance turned out to be about 1/4 of this cantaloupe. I need to make a list or chart of the portion sizes for these things, but I think overdoing on fruit is a lot less harmful than, say, accidentally eating a cupcake.

I'm very pleased with drinking so much water. A friend of mine happened to post a link to this page about water on Twitter, and it had many tips for making yourself drink more, as well as some interesting things to think about (though I really wish the author had used more paragraph breaks and some reference citations). I dug my Camelback bottle out of my swimming bag and have been toting that around - it's easy to suck down a few sips here and there and find suddenly the bottle is near empty.

I do think I'm going to make it a plan to drink an extra 2-3 glasses of water as well, totaling 10-12 8-oz. glasses per day. If I aim for 12, that's 4 refills of my bottle, which I think I can work my way up to.

Midday

• 24 oz. water

Lunch, 2:30pm

• flatbread pizza made with tomato sauce, part-skim mozzarella, broccoli and mushrooms
• bowl of tomato soup with herbs and sprinkle of pecorino Romano cheese
• 12 oz. Diet Coke

I was so enamored with yesterday's pizza that I made them again for my mother and me. We both really enjoyed this, and I think the success of it comes from flavoring the sauce, as well as crisping the pita in the broiler so it feels like a very satisfying crust.

I decided, while eating my soup, that hot tomato is probably my favorite savory flavor, and I am absolutely in love with tomato soup.

Dinner, 8pm

• turkey tostada, made with lean ground turkey cooked with onions and garlic, with mushrooms in salsa, served on a whole grain tortilla with reduced fat Cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, pickled jalapeños, sliced avocado, and fresh cilantro
• Diet Coke (not pictured)

This meal was absolutely delicious, and both of my parents seemed to really enjoy it. My father complimented me on my cooking this week, saying he was pleasantly surprised at such nutritious, colorful, flavorful, "refreshing" meals and that he looked forward to more of this type. I felt very much the same, and we all agreed that it feels great to eat right.

Using my fats in the avocado is a nice move, I think, since I enjoy it so much more than I would a pat of butter or a glob of dressing. I'm also in love with jalapeños and fresh cilantro, as well as turkey perked up with salsa.

Summary

I meant to have another serving of fruit and some more vegetables, as well as the rest of my water, but I fell asleep in a chair downstairs (I've been doing this a lot lately) and didn't wake up until 6am, at which point it seemed silly. I really need to work on making the actual decision to go to bed, rather than fall asleep wherever I plunk down.

Apart from being short on water, I think today was a pretty good day.

New Plan, Day Two

I woke up at 5am after falling asleep around midnight, downstairs with my computer in my lap. Not the best night's sleep, but I'll address that another time.

Breakfast, 6:45am

• 1.5 oz ham and 1 oz. American cheese on a whole wheat sandwich roll
• 1 orange
• 16 oz. water

I love this breakfast - it's good to start the day with protein. While eating, I talked with my dad about a bunch of things and eased into the morning.

Exercise, 8am

Walked 1.97 miles with my parents and the dogs. Pedometer read 5082 steps, 679 of which were at a moderate pace (6 min), for approximately 188 calories burned. Not fantastic, but it was nice to spend time with my folks and get outside in the morning.

Mid-Morning Snack, 10am

• can of tomato soup with salt, pepper, basil, and a sprinkle of pecorino Romano cheese
• fresh herb salad with 2 TBSP Light Creamy Caesar dressing

I was vaguely procrastinating some work I needed to get done for an afternoon meeting, and I kept convincing myself I was hungry so that I could rationalize taking a break. I realize I do this a lot, using food or eating as a means to avoid doing what I'm supposed to, but in this instance it was a delicious and welcome diversion.

The tomato soup was absolute perfection - I think hot tomato is my favorite flavor. The salad was also extraordinary - I actually measured out the dressing to make sure I was using an appropriate amount to count it as one of my fats. Such a treat.

Lunch, 1:45pm

• flatbread pizza made with tomato sauce, part-skim mozzarella, broccoli and mushrooms on a pita
• 24 oz. Diet Coke (not pictured

I was running late, and ordinarily in those circumstances my plan would be to grab Burger King to eat while driving, which is obviously out of the question. I was going back and forth on what to do, wondering if I really had time to prepare pizzas for myself and my mother, but I decided that rather than waste time hemming and hawing, I should just cook the silly things.

This was absolutely phenomenal, and both my mom and I agreed that we enjoyed it more than anything we've had for lunch in weeks. I think a lot of the success came in flavoring the tomato sauce with basil, oregano, garlic powder, fresh black pepper, salt, and a tiny sprinkle of nutmeg. I then assembled the rest of the ingredients and put it under the broiler until the vegetables were cooked and the cheese was slightly browned. This crisped the pita into a very satisfying crust, making for one tasty little pizza. After eating this, I spent about 6 hours driving to Brooklyn and back for this meeting, and I wasn't hungry the whole time - I was actually in a spectacular mood and feeling very energetic. Score for the flatbread pizza!

More "Exercise," 4-5pm

I don't really think it counts as exercise, but I wore my pedometer for the rest of the afternoon and kept track of how much I walked from my car to my meeting, around campus etc. It was an additional 2731 steps, 1391 and 12 min. of which were at a moderate pace, for an additional 1.1 miles and approximately 94 calories.

This brought my day's totals to 3.07 miles or 7813 steps, 2070 and 18 min of which were at a moderate pace, for approximately 282 calories burned. It's not great, but it's not nothing.

Dinner, 9pm

• chicken breast cooked with onions, garlic, Crimini mushrooms, sliced zucchini, broccoli florets, sliced red pepper, eggplant, and stewed tomatoes, with herbs and spices
• approximately 1 cup white rice

My parents were antsy for me to cook dinner when I got home, but I was in the middle of video chatting with a friend (aforementioned massive crush), so I had to rush preparing it once I got to it. This sort of resembles the meal I prepared most frequently when I lived in Italy, based on finding the best-looking produce and cooking it all together with olive oil in tomato sauce or more often fresh tomatoes, either with or without added meat. The difference, of course, between cooking for one and cooking for three, meant that it was much more time consuming to chop down and cook all the vegetables, and I needed to move everything from a large skillet into a cast-iron pan so it would all fit.

Nevertheless, the flavor was bang-on, I suspect from letting the vegetables and chicken simmer together in the liquid from the stewed tomatoes, as well as generous spicing. My parents both seemed surprised that a bowl of mostly vegetables over rice could have so much flavor, and we all agreed that this was a great way to get more fresh vegetables into our diet.

Something I have observed, in the past few meals, is the immense difference that cooking with fresh vegetables makes. I am accustomed to always using fresh, having lived down the street from a grocery and produce stand for five years in Brooklyn, as well as only buying and cooking with fresh vegetables in Italy. My parents, by contrast, would usually microwave or boil frozen vegetables when preparing meals, and I think that is part of why they're happy to omit them regularly, or at the very least, rarely enjoy them. Lately they've been observing just how flavorful they are and commenting on the exciting textures and such, which gives me hope that they will continue coming over to the fresh side more often.

Summary

I had planned on having a yogurt and almonds for a snack, but I fell asleep before I got around to it. I think it's alright, since I probably had more than one serving of cheese on my lunchtime pizza. I was also planning to have my second fruit after dinner, but I had more than enough vegetables to have compensated for that.

The only area where I'm disappointed with myself is that I was woefully under on my waters again. My mother has taken to carrying around her 24oz. refillable water bottle to sip on water throughout the day, and I'm thinking I should probably do the same, since I am so much more likely to grab a can or glass of soda than get a glass of water. Otherwise today was a very nice day, and I felt cheerful and energetic throughout. It's nice to feel such immediate benefits from eating right!

Weigh-In, Week One

182. Not actually as bad as I thought it would be. Current BMI is 30.3, which is obese. Not great.

If I keep my goal weight at 120 pounds, I then have 62 pounds to lose. If I lost on average 2 pounds a week (which would be generous), that's 31 weeks, or just under 8 months. Of course, 3-4 months in, I'll already be looking a lot better and the weight loss will be noticeable, so I've got that to look forward to this spring and summer.

I'll start charting my weight again, once I have more than one data point, and perhaps at some point soon I'll take my measurements again so I can see what kind of obese I am.

New Plan, Day One

I started my day waking up at 5:45 without setting an alarm. I went to sleep pretty early last night, and my parents' dog was barking, but it still surprised me. It would be very pleasant to be able to feel awake that early every day.

Breakfast, 7am

• "peppers and eggs" made with half a large green pepper and 1 egg cooked in 1 tsp. olive oil, with salt, pepper, and a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese
• 7 Reduced Fat Triscuits
• 1 orange
• 16 oz. water

This was a tasty meal which used to be one of my favorites on eDiets. As a rule, I don't like eggs, and if you asked me lately, I'd say I just don't eat them, but when combined with cooked peppers and scooped onto Triscuits, the egginess is not so bad.

I took my time cooking and eating this meal, spreading it out while I wrote my last post and did some computer stuff for work. I think savoring food makes me less aware that I'm on a "diet," so much as that I'm taking the time to eat right. I like that mind-set.

Lunch, 4:30pm

• 2 oz. turkey breast and 1 oz. American cheese with mustard and lettuce in a whole grain wrap
• 16 oz. Diet Coke
• 1/2 a can of tomato soup with fresh black pepper, salt, basil, and a sprinkle of Parmesan

I know it's a horrible photo, but it was a good sandwich. I love the flavor of these whole wheat grain wraps, but they break easily and fall apart while handling. I absolutely love tomato soup, so this was a wonderful treat. I had planned on eating a big salad or some roasted vegetables with this, but soup sounded so much easier and tastier and, most of all, warmer.

Dinner, 8pm

• tacos made with ground beef cooked in spices, Reduced Fat sharp Cheddar cheese, salsa, sliced avocado, lettuce, tomato, pickled jalapeños, and fresh cilantro
• 16 oz. Diet Coke (not pictured)

Part of the challenge of every diet I've been on for the past few years has been making it amenable to the people I live with. To this end, I spent time this weekend planning out dinners that both my father and mother would also like, and this is not an easy task, since in addition to being a very dinner-centric family, my dad's idea of a good meal is a huge hunk of meat with a pile of starch. He regularly criticizes my cooking for "cutting the meat into tiny little pieces" (i.e. bite-size) because he finds it unsatisfying if he can't take a huge bite of meat.

I was therefore really surprised that both parents seemed to really like this meal. I think my mom was happy that I made a menu for the week where she doesn't have to cook until Thursday. I suspect that my dad ate several scoops of taco meat by itself before preparing his tacos (whatever, he's not on the diet), and my mom still felt hungry after eating hers, so she rationalized that she was "light on protein" for the day and made a taco salad too.

As for me, I was really happy and perfectly satisfied, since I love this meal (it was my favorite from the Glycemic Impact plan on eDiets). I worked it in by using the avocado as one of my fats, which gives it a really rich and satisfying, fresh taste. I'm also crazy about the pickled jalapeños and fresh cilantro - it elevates it from "diet food" to something delicious I love to eat. I will definitely be making these again soon.

Snack, 11:30pm

• Yoplait Light Thick & Creamy, blueberry pie flavor yogurt (not pictured) with 1 tbsp wheat germ

Yoplait makes these phenomenal dessert-flavored yogurts, and this was a new one for me. The thick and creamy variety is especially satisfying, but it was tricky to stir the wheat germ in, not a big deal. I counted this as a milk, then realized I'd had cheese with my sandwich as well as a bit of cheese on my tacos (not a full serving, I think, though). I think it'll be alright.

Summary

I did well today, in that I wasn't hungry and stuck to the plan. I didn't drink nearly enough water - actually I only had a shameful two glasses - so I know I need to work on that. I probably could have eaten one or two additional servings of vegetables, as I'd intended, but I did get at least 3 servings. I just realized I forgot my second fruit though.

Still, for the first day, I tried hard, and I feel like dinner was a big success for my family. Tomorrow morning I'll weigh in to get a baseline, so I can see what this does from there.

A new plan

I'm not sure if I've mentioned that after my boyfriend and I broke up, I moved back into my parents' house and have been living here the past year and a half while I finish my master's degrees. This has been really good for me in some ways, but tremendously awful in others. For one thing, the way we arrange meals is a mess, and we eat woefully unhealthy foods in an unbalanced way. We're all overweight and/or obese, and it's alarming that we all seem to be getting fatter.

My mother and I talked it over and agreed that we were going to start a new diet this weekend. She had initially wanted to try Atkins, to get an initial fast jump on weight loss, but when I said I just couldn't do that, she agreed to try a different approach that cobbles together her memories of the Weight Watchers plan, as well as my experience with various plans from eDiets.



This approach basically categorizes foods into milks, breads, proteins, vegetables, fruit, and fats, with room for some optional extra calories and personal selections spread over the week. Each day allows for:

• 2 milks
• minimally 3 servings of vegetables
• 3 fats
• 5 proteins
• 2 fruits
• 3 breads

The optional extras and personal selections should add up to 700 calories or less for the week (I still honestly can't figure out the difference between the two), and there is a daily minimum of 8 glasses of water. My mother printed out the chart pictured above, and then we spent a while bickering about what constitutes a serving of protein (because I know that 1 oz. of lean chicken is very different than 1 oz. of ground beef or say, salami). I guess I'll work out the details as we go.

In addition to losing weight and improving my nutrition and sleep, I have some other goals with this change.

First, I'm very concerned with my digestive health. A few years ago I was hospitalized with a very gross infection that they felt was exacerbated by anxiety. I was cautioned that I could develop a permanent condition like irritable bowel syndrome or colitis, and without getting into too much detail, let's say that our current diet of fatty meat and starches is bringing about a return of worrying symptoms (this is part of why I just couldn't do Atkins again). I've made an effort, in planning my meals, to include a lot of whole grains and vegetables, and I've also started taking fiber supplements again. This time it's Fiber Choice plus Antioxidants, a really delicious pomegranate and berry flavored chewable supplement. These are like candy to me, so I have no problem taking them, which is a nice change from those fiber capsules that used to feel stuck in my throat all day.

Second, I want to make cosmetic improvements to my skin and hair. I have naturally very fine hair, and at times depending on my diet and stress levels, it has seemed to be much thinner than I'd like. When I was with my ex, it hit an all-time thin, and I started really worrying that I would need Rogaine or something. I've found that getting my stress under control has helped a lot, and I read that wheat protein is a great way to stimulate hair re-growth. I'm planning to use some of my optional extras to stir in spoonfuls of wheat germ here and there, which is also high in dietary fiber, so double bonus.

For my skin, I'm going to concentrate on balanced nutrition (especially getting enough protein and healthy fats) and drinking enough water. I have a terrible habit of drinking Diet Coke or Diet Dr Pepper by the gallon, but almost never drink water. Replacing soda with more water will probably help with getting on a healthier sleep schedule (eliminating excessive caffeine), make it that I don't have to worry about burning out my kidneys, and generally provide all the expected health benefits of water.

Lastly, I want to develop the discipline that comes with a healthier lifestyle. I have some really ambitious educational and career goals (I'm planning a second bachelor's and PhD as soon as I finish my master's), some big life changes coming up (moving back to the city for the next degrees), and a lot of personal reasons for why I need to develop strong willpower and discipline. I think being in school as long as I have has made me accustomed to making excuses and shifting priorities to suit my whims, when in reality, I just need to change the way I live.

Reintroducing regular exercise into my life will have innumerable benefits, both health-wise and psychologically, and controlling my diet will help me feel capable of addressing the other issues in my life where I desperately need more rigor and efficiency.

Predictably, I forgot to weigh myself before starting this diet. As I recall, the last time I weighed myself I was about 185, creeping up toward 190 again (gaaah). I'll try to remember to weigh myself tomorrow for a baseline, and then I'll decide if I want Saturdays or Sundays to become my weekly weigh-in day.

I'm also going to keep track of my meals on this blog again, and try to take photos as much as possible. In going back through my archives looking for meal ideas, it was both inspiring and incredibly helpful to see what worked and what didn't, and if I essentially document everything I eat, I'm not likely to sneak in something awful. This is part of the control aspect, which I know could pretty easily become pathological for me, but if it works, it works, and I'm going to give it my best.