So Far

I feel kind of dopey checking in on myself constantly, but whatever, this is my journal and I should put it to some kind of use.

Since writing, I weighed in:



174. Not bad, not great. I logged back into e-Diets and they projected my four-week goal of dropping to 166. Fair enough. I realized I'd had it set for Atkins, so I changed my meal plan back to the Glycemic Impact diet, which I feel was vastly healthier.

I made some decisions. These are the only pills I will take to improve my health and well-being:



One-a-Day Weight Smart, vitamin C, chromium picolinate, a fiber supplement, and today, naproxen sodium.

I have one of those daily pill containers marked with the days of the week leftover from when I took a psycho-pharmaceutical cocktail every day, and I loaded it up with these vitamins and supplements for the coming week.

I have also decided to give up caffeine. In Italy, I barely had any on a regular basis, so this really won't be so hard, but I have to think that the amounts of Diet Coke and Diet Dr Pepper I drink must negatively impact my sleep-wake cycles.

From now on, it's water, decaffeinated iced tea, or decaf soda in very limited amounts. I know that increasing the amount of water I drink has more health benefits than I can count, and now that we've bought a Brita pitcher to keep in the fridge, I think this will be a lot easier to do.

As per my list from the previous post, it felt wonderful to shower and do my full grooming routine. I took my time, shaved my legs, and even put menthol gel on my sore neck, which has made a world of difference. I looked at my face, which I've been picking at a lot lately, and I was sad for what I'd done to it. I made a point of putting only Neosporin on the spots I'd picked, not concealer, to give it a fair chance at healing. I think my skin bears the brunt of my foul moods, and I don't want to keep abusing it or it's going to scar. I have to be disciplined about leaving it alone, especially when my first instinct during trouble is to grab a hand mirror and go to town on it.

I walked to check on my car. It's blocked in (yay Brooklyn), but in a spot where I don't have to move it tomorrow. I think that managing this better will alleviate the morning stress of having to rush out the door to move my car as soon as I wake up, as well as the financial stress of parking tickets (I just got one on Friday).

I went to the grocery, and though I didn't buy food specific to the e-Diets plan yet, I bought reasonably healthy things which I plan to eat in moderation. I just had ham and provolone with mustard on whole grain bread, and it was delicious. I sat down to enjoy it, taking my time to sip water and savor each bite, and I'm glad I did that. I feel a lot calmer.

Prior to eating, I spent a few minutes tidying up the apartment, taking out the trash and recycling, cleaning the kitchen counter etc. Once I finish writing this, I'm going to tackle the living room and try to make some headway on the dishes. Then I have to find something enjoyable to do for the rest of the evening and maybe throw in some yoga (exercise for mental health and all that).

I'm feeling more in control, and this is important. It's stupid to act all crisis-mode about things, but I can feel my mind becoming less scattered and frenetic than it was just a few hours ago, so I know I'm doing the right thing.