Snack, Day Sixty

• 2 chocolate crunch rice cakes with 2/3 tbsp Smart Balance peanut butter

Good old standby, made sort of artsy in this photo with some appealing sunlight.

Lunch, Day Sixty

• hamburger made with 3 oz lean ground beef, garlic powder, onion powder & 1/2 tsp Worcestshire sauce on a whole wheat bun
• 1 cup lettuce with 1 tbsp fat-free French dressing
• 1 orange

I'd enjoyed last night's hamburger so much that I decided to have another for lunch today, as did my boyfriend. Before going on this diet, we used to make sliders (mini-hamburgers) with cheese, mushrooms, bacon, and all this other fatty delicious stuff, though mostly we just loved the beef, so it's quite nice to be able to enjoy a good hamburger without going off my diet.

Breakfast, Day Sixty

• 1-1/2 oz oatmeal with 1/2 tbsp raisins, 1 tbsp slivered almonds, cinnamon & almond extract
• 1 slice whole wheat toast with 1/2 tbsp Smart Balance peanut butter
• 1 orange

This meal was great. I hadn't added enough water to the oatmeal (or overcooked it) so it was a bit thick and sticky, but the almond extract and cinnamon gave it a nice kick. Ordinarily the recipe called for vanilla, but as we were out, I substituted the almond extract and found it was so much more aromatic and went better with the sliced almonds too.

Snack, Day Fifty-Nine

• 13 reduced-fat Wheat Thins
• 1/2 oz roasted red pepper hummus
• 1/2 cup skim milk

I always do enjoy this snack, and it was just the right amount of food and flavors.

Dinner, Day Fifty-Nine

• hamburger made with 3 oz lean ground beef, garlic powder, onion powder & 1/2 tsp Worcestshire sauce on a whole wheat bun
• 1 cup lettuce with 1 tbsp fat-free French dressing
• 1 apple

I was so thrilled to find a hamburger on my meal plan - somehow I hadn't realized that this was allowed!

I had talked some things out with my boyfriend Sunday night, and we're doing a lot better now. Because he is allowed to have hamburgers a-plenty on Atkins, we both had a lot of fun cooking and preparing them and had Diet Sunkist orange soda to complement the summertime feel.

Having so much beef also kept my energy way up for the rest of the evening, which made me very happy.

Lunch, Day Fifty-Nine

• Lean Cuisine Macaroni & Beef
• 1 cup lettuce with 1 tbsp fat-free French dressing
• 1/2 cup fruit cocktail

My mom had mentioned yesterday that she was planning to have macaroni & beef as the first lunch on her new diet, so I had the same. This meal was quite delicious and really satisfying, which isn't always the case with Lean Cuisines for me.

Breakfast, Day Fifty-Nine

• 1 oz Total with 1 tbsp walnuts, 2 tbsp raisins & 1 cup skim milk
• 1 slice whole wheat bread with 1 tbsp peach preserves

We'd run out of the sugar-free Smuckers I've been enjoying since the start of this diet, so I actually had this meal in the afternoon after a trip to the store (my lunch meal came first today). I was dismayed, though, that they didn't have any sugar-free jelly or jam at the store. Actually more than dismayed, I was annoyed. I read an article a while back about how so many bodegas or corner stores in NYC only sell whole milk and sugar- and fat-laden foods, but mostly I've been able to get everything I need at the grocery down the street. They're changing management, now, so they're cutting back a lot of stock while they transition - I don't know if this means they'll only stock unhealthy food in the future, or if once they fully switch over, they'll have a more diverse selection. Obviously I'm hoping for the latter.

Otherwise this meal was great and very satisfying. I do enjoy using the raisins in cereal as the fruit, though on some days I finish eating it and wish I had an apple or a banana instead.

Lunch, Snack & Dinner, Day Fifty-Eight

• lamb roasted with garlic & rosemary
• 3 new potatoes
• approx. 1/2 cup mashed carrots
• approx. 1 cup asparagus
• 1 artichoke with about 2 tbsp drawn butter
• 1/2 cup sliced strawberries, sweeetened with Splenda, small dallop of whipped cream

I went to my parents' for Easter dinner. Because both my brother and mother are on diets as well, they were careful in what they chose to serve so that it would coincide with both Atkins and a more low-fat, low-calorie type diet.

My mom trimmed most of the fat off of a leg of lamb, which actually made the flavor more delicate and savory. The vegetables were all prepared without butter or salt (so that my brother could add it and I could abstain) - they were so delicious. After the main meal, we had artichokes steamed in the pressure cooker with some drawn butter - I was careful to be prudent with my dips in the butter such that at least half of my butter was still left when I'd finished the artichoke. It was such a treat!

For dessert, in place of the usual pies or cheesecake, we had sliced strawberries. I sweetened mine with Splenda, then added just a dallop of whipped cream. We all talked about how much healthier we felt having a relatively sane Easter dinner, as compared with the usual sickly bloated feeling after a sodium-and fat-laden feast complimented with chocolates and sugary desserts. We'd all agreed not to have any baskets or candy, and to be honest, I didn't miss them at all. In fact, having more vegetables and a lean cut of meat made for a much more flavorful and sophisticated meal than I'd expected, and we all really enjoyed it a lot.

I talked with my parents about a lot of the emotional stuff that's been going on lately, and it was incredibly helpful to relax with them, get a fresh perspective, and get the parental nourishment I so badly needed. They were encouraging with my diet, saying I look like I've lost a lot of weight (even though I feel like I'm just drifting and not really cutting anything down). My mother gave me tips on how to make the diet work better into my schedule, and since she is beginning NutriSystem this week, she got my re-inspired to up my exercise and take a more optimistic stance on the whole diet in general.

Hope you all had a great Easter!

Breakfast, Day Fifty-Eight

• 1 plain bagel (not pictured)

I had this bagel in the train station. They didn't have any fat-free cream cheese, so I had it without, though when I later checked the meal plan I learned I could have had 100 calories' worth of regular cream cheese. I'm glad I didn't, though, since when did a bagel place ever put only 100 calories' cream cheese on your bagel?

Dinner, Day Fifty-Seven

skipped.

I was rushing around trying to get stuff ready to go out of town for Easter Sunday, and by the time I finished all the cleaning I wanted to do, I found myself too tired to prepare food, so I just went to bed.

It does feel good to have all my laundry done and everything in the apartment clean and well-organized... but the hovering emotional anxiety I've been trying to displace is getting overwhelming.