The Circle of Fat

A long time ago, I read a passage in a book by Joyce Vedral describing the "circle of fat" effect many women experience.

She posited that weight gain often starts for women in the lower abdomen, often as the particularly nefarious deep belly fat which seems at times impossible to lose. We continue to gain around the waist, hips, butt, thighs, upper arms, and so on, spreading in a circle from our navel outwards. When I read that, I found it startlingly accurate, as all my problem areas concentrated around my midsection.

If I remember correctly, Ms Vedral's solution combined diet and exercise focused on the core muscle groups (tons of ab work) to halt the spread, and eventually diminish the circle of fat.

I think that I ignore my increasing weight gain in part because it follows this pattern. If I've bought clothing for the largest part of me, then I have lots of room to grow along the perimeter of my circle of fat before it starts noticeably impacting fit. If I'm dressing to move emphasis away from that area anyway, it takes a while for encroaching gain to become really obvious. Evidently, I can gain more than 20 pounds and stay relatively comfortable in the same clothing size.

Underneath those clothes, I look several months pregnant and feel awful.

Another aspect of my neglect has been turning a blind eye to that which I don't want to see. I'm accustomed, when I look in a mirror - even the full-length one on the back of our bathroom door - to only look at my head from the neck up, legs from the knee down, and arms from the elbows down. I effectively ignore the majority of my body because I've hopelessly resigned that's just my circle of fat. If I can help it, I avoid turning around to see the ever-widening expanse of my back, the folds under my bra line, my frighteningly huge ass... I just assume it's terrible and try not to look.

I find myself lately wishing I could wear a big shapeless sack that only reveals the parts of me I like, and in the fall and winter it was almost possible to do this with voluminous skirts, sweaters, and so on. It's unrealistic, though, because as many pains as I may take to avoid dealing with my circle of fat, I know everyone else sees it becoming increasingly spherical, and more to the point, I know how much it is impacting my health.

My grandfather recently had his fourth bout with cancer in the past few years, and it was especially awful this time. When I asked my mother what she thought could be causing so many cancers at this stage in his life, I was expecting her to say drug or alcohol use or growing up in a part of the country sometimes called "Cancer Alley." Instead she said "Well he was seriously overweight most of his life, and now it's catching up to him."

I was flummoxed. Fat causes cancer?? I felt really dumb as my mother outlined the ways that excess abdominal fat squeezes organs, inhibits function, and demands resources that would ordinarily go toward maintenance. While I need to do more research, I did learn that she was spot-on, and there are numerous increased risks of cancer to do with being overweight.

So now my circle of fat is no longer a problem of vanity or a hindrance for swimsuit season, but a serious health problem which I must resolve as soon as I can.

And unfortunately, it is every bit as bad as I feared it would be:



I have a lot of work ahead of me.