I was on spring break, and instead of using the time to focus on my diet and get myself together, I relaxed, ate what I wanted, and used the rationalization that if I ate 1000 calories in one meal it was fine since it was still less than a full day's calories. (Yes, I'm aware of the fault in that logic).
On Friday (3/16), I didn't even try to trick myself, and I just went nuts with Chinese take-out, which I didn't photograph. It included onion rings, crab rangoons, a pork egg roll, sweet and sour chicken, and pork fried rice. I even drank the full-sugar Sprite that they delivered with it. Genuinely obscene.
On Saturday (3/17), I actually did get a bit of exercise, spending around two hours shoveling snow and breaking up ice (my car had been plowed in). I drove down to my parents' house for a party and spent the morning rushing around helping to clean their house and prepare appetizers. Any activity was of course completely off-set by a day spent grazing delicious foods and drinking whiskey and homemade Bailey's (though in my defense I had about a half cup of the Bailey's cut with a half cup of skim milk and only about two shots of whiskey over the course of the day). I ate a large amount of corned beef, had some potatoes, carrots, and then a generous sampling of all the desserts in sight, which included decadent chocolate cake and chocolate cream cheese cookies (which of course I got the recipe for). It was a spectacular party, and I didn't limit myself in any way.
The upswing is that by the end of the day, I was exhausted, and I got myself to sleep at a reasonable hour. I've been on a perfect sleep schedule since, getting tired around midnight and waking up between 6-8am. I'm really quite thrilled about that.
On Sunday (3/18), I was still at my parents' house, and I knew I was going to be grazing on leftovers all day. I started off with tortilla chips with salsa and guacamole and a big slice of chocolate cake. We made corned beef hash, and then after that I made a plate of nachos with some of the leftovers from the cheese platter. I ate handfuls of M&M's, a handful of full-fat Ruffles chips (wow), and even some bologna my brother had sitting in the fridge. My parents urged me to take the chocolate cake home with me because they are all on diets, and I knew that in doing so, I'd be hurling myself off mine for as long the cake lasted.
Much of the past week has been a blur, as I've really had to focus on school work and some personal stuff. To be honest, the diet was the last thing on my mind.
Monday (3/19) consisted mainly of leftover Chinese food, lots of cake, and everything we had in the fridge and around the apartment. On Tuesday (3/20), I had bought a package of turkey bologna and some potato rolls, so during the day I ate two small bologna and cheese sandwiches. I almost tricked myself into thinking I was in control, until I ordered a large pizza with all the toppings I like and cheese bread. I ate that stuff for the rest of the week, interspersed with slices of cake, and on Thursday (3/22) I even bought two packages of chocolate-covered raisins for my boyfriend and I.
Finally yesterday, after we had eaten the last of the pizza, bologna, cake, cheese, and even two packages of green Peeps, we realized we were out of junk food and someone would have to go to the store. We made a big pot of spinach and cheese tortellini with vodka sauce, which we gobbled up (no leftovers), and I resolved that no matter what, I was going to go back on the diet today.
This brings me to this week's weigh-in, which is my sixth. As I approached the scale, I expected the worst, as not only have I been eating with abandon, but I have my period this week and if the swelling in my breasts is any indication, I'm retaining a lot of water.
183. Actually not that bad. I mean yes, I've gained a pound since my last weigh-in, but I thought it would be much, much more damage.
I started thinking about how often I am tempted to cheat on this plan, how regularly I am dissatisfied with it, and how whether I'm on the diet or not, I don't seem to really gain or lose weight.
Therefore I've changed diets... again. I'm still using e-Diets, but I've switched to the Glycemic Impact Diet, which I gather is based upon a similar premise as NutriSystem:
The GI Diet helps you achieve optimal metabolic balance every time you eat. Following a diet that consists of lean protein, low glycemic index unrefined carbohydrates, and healthy fats helps you burn stored body fat and lose weight without feeling hungry. By eating the right combination of protein, carbohydrates, and fat at every meal and snack, you'll start losing weight, reduce hunger and unhealthy cravings, and boost your energy.
I still made sure it's low cholesterol, and mostly it's similar to a traditional diet but with a bit more flexibility and slightly less austere.
In reviewing some of the meals, I'm already really pleased, and I think I will have an easier time with this diet.
I recently found out that I'm going to be spending most of the summer abroad, and as I considered my plans, I know that I don't want to be anywhere near my current weight by the time I get there. I would like to lose a dramatic amount of weight, something like 30 or 40 pounds by June. While that amount is not realistic, I also know that the only way to get anywhere is a major increase in exercise and working my butt off to make changes across the board. I need to be aggressive in my approach and not fall to complacency and passivity, as I see where that's gotten me so far.
2 comments:
I know you can do this and even though 30-40 pounds by June is a stretch, you can still make a major dent.
Don't forget that so much of it is your mind frame. Try to think as positively as you can! Don't punish yourself.
Best wishes and congratulations to you on your upcoming success!
Thank you so much - you are, as always, totally right.
I really appreciate your positive attitude and support!
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