Day One Hundred Fifteen

Breakfast

• ham & cheese sandwich
• sliced kiwi
• milk

Today started out so good - I really hoped that I would make up for this weekend's slouching with a healthy set of meals. Little did I know what would go down...

Lunch, Dinner Snack
It's hard to explain the next few hours, so I'm just going to lump it all together as a crazed binge. I want very much to blame my boyfriend, since he was the one who opened up the leftovers from catering (again - why did I bring them home?!) and went along with awful ideas like "I'm going to have a coffee cake for lunch."

Only later did I learn those coffee cakes are 500 calories each.

But that barely matters because next I had a bowl of hot Italian sausage with yellow peppers. Delicious, but fatty beyond belief.

Then, my boyfriend noticed the leftover chocolate in the fridge and declared he was going off Atkins for an hour (supposedly if you keep all your day's carbs within an hour it doesn't have ill effects?). He made a sort of candy concoction by pouring melted peanut butter and tempered chocolate over a bed of hazelnuts, then froze it. Of course I had a chunk.

(We cut that piece into about 9, and I had one square, but still.)

Seeing as the diet was thoroughly blown, we decided to get the most unhealthy dinner we could think of.

I had half of a thin-crust sausage pizza.

And five chicken kickers with bleu cheese and hot dipping sauce.

I'm going to rename this "Visualizing Weight Gain" or "How to be an Undisciplined Fatass the Rest of One's Life, which Won't Be Long If She Continues Eating this Way."

I can't even rationalize and say something like "Oh it's just one day," as it has been the past three days, and I'm absolutely certain that today's ridiculous fat-fest was much more than double my day's allowed calories.

But it is done. I can only look forward and realize I've just set myself back that much more... again.