I don't know what's wrong with me, but it seems I'm intent on sabotaging every attempt I make at losing weight.
Today it started with low-sugar Eskimo Pie ice cream bars. They're delicious - vanilla ice cream covered in dark chocolate. They're also 13 grams of carbs each.
I had one this morning, then I had several grams of carbs in my dinner (leftover sausage with orange peppers in spicy tomato sauce, and not enough of it). That should have been the end of my carbs for the day, but I just wasn't satisfied.
I had another ice cream, trying to rationalize that going over by a few grams wouldn't kill me. Then, and completely without thinking, I had another. What the hell? I can't even understand how or when that happened. There were suddenly two popsicle sticks in front of me.
So then I thought that if I'd blown it, I should do an hour of carbs (I seriously think this is just an excuse for screwing up a low-carb diet, but I keep putting off researching it). I had liverwurst on a Wasa flatbread. I had monterey jack cheese melted on Wheat Thins. I even had a few scrapes out of an old jar of Nutella. To cap it off, I had yet another ice cream bar. Argh.
I'm ashamed to admit I was tempted to order pizza or go out for fast food or even walk to a bodega and buy cookies, thinking it was too bad we didn't have more desirable carby treats around the apartment. Thankfully I stopped myself before it got even worse, but it feels lousy to have let myself get so out of control. I was even thinking "It's only another week or two before I leave for the summer, I should just give up Atkins now and enjoy myself." Sigh.
When am I going to change?
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Revving Up
I just read this article on revving up one's metabolism, and I think I'm making several critical errors.
First, I am not drinking nearly enough water. I try to get it in from sugar-free iced tea or Jello or similar, but I really don't have enough of that to offset the amount of sodium and caffeine I'm consuming from diet sodas. What I didn't realize, however, is that running slightly dehydrated actually decreases metabolic rate. Therefore, I'm going to redouble my efforts to drink at least 64 oz of water a day and cut back on soda. I imagine that will have some nice skin and hair benefits too.
The second major thing that it's taking me too long to realize is that not eating enough, waiting until really late in the day, or going an excessively long time between meals, causes my metabolism to slow. When blood sugar drops, the body stores energy as fat. It seems so simple, but it's so easy to think "Ehn, I'm fat enough, I don't really need to eat." So even though it feels like work to have to squeeze in regular meals and snacks throughout the day, I think it's something I need to make a concerted effort toward. Atkins is perhaps problematic because it reduces hunger so much that I often go as long as ten or twelve hours without eating - I can't imagine my metabolism keeps working in that time.
Lastly, and I've been harping on myself about this one for this whole process - I need to develop muscle tone and become aerobically active. Period. End of story.
So I need to remember these things the next time I find myself staring at the scale and thinking "But I haven't eaten carbs - why am I back up to 179?" I know why, and I know that there is no magic solution or lazy way out. I can make this work, and I know how. I just have to have the discipline to do it.
First, I am not drinking nearly enough water. I try to get it in from sugar-free iced tea or Jello or similar, but I really don't have enough of that to offset the amount of sodium and caffeine I'm consuming from diet sodas. What I didn't realize, however, is that running slightly dehydrated actually decreases metabolic rate. Therefore, I'm going to redouble my efforts to drink at least 64 oz of water a day and cut back on soda. I imagine that will have some nice skin and hair benefits too.
The second major thing that it's taking me too long to realize is that not eating enough, waiting until really late in the day, or going an excessively long time between meals, causes my metabolism to slow. When blood sugar drops, the body stores energy as fat. It seems so simple, but it's so easy to think "Ehn, I'm fat enough, I don't really need to eat." So even though it feels like work to have to squeeze in regular meals and snacks throughout the day, I think it's something I need to make a concerted effort toward. Atkins is perhaps problematic because it reduces hunger so much that I often go as long as ten or twelve hours without eating - I can't imagine my metabolism keeps working in that time.
Lastly, and I've been harping on myself about this one for this whole process - I need to develop muscle tone and become aerobically active. Period. End of story.
So I need to remember these things the next time I find myself staring at the scale and thinking "But I haven't eaten carbs - why am I back up to 179?" I know why, and I know that there is no magic solution or lazy way out. I can make this work, and I know how. I just have to have the discipline to do it.
Two Creamy Recipes
Recently I've made two really tasty carb-free dishes, and I thought it would be a good idea to record the recipes here.
Chicken Primavera Alfredo
Ingredients
Preparation
Cook chicken. I used a George Foreman grill, but it could be boiled, roasted, or otherwise heated through by any method. Slice into bite-size pieces.
Meanwhile, chop and sautée garlic and onion in a skillet with hot olive oil. Cook until onions are translucent. Add stir-fry vegetables and mushrooms, and heat to desired softness, covering to steam. Toss with chicken.
In a separate saucepan, heat butter and cream until butter is melted. Remove from heat, add Parmesan cheese, salt & pepper, and stir until smooth.
Pour Alfredo sauce over chicken and vegetable mixture. Top with Parmesan or Romano cheese, and serve hot.
This recipe makes a very large amount with lots of leftovers - it can easily be halved or otherwise divided. Alfredo sauce recipe comes from this source.
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Thin Beef and Spinach in Three Cheese Cream Sauce
Ingredients
Preparation
Thinly slice onion and sautée with garlic in a skillet with hot oil. Heat until onions are translucent. Add steaks and cover to heat through. Using two wooden spoons, cut up steaks into small pieces. Add salt, peppers, and Worcestershire sauce to flavor. Add package of spinach and cover to steam.
When spinach has fully defrosted, stir in cream, cream cheese, crumbled Feta, and Romano cheese. Combine to a creamy sauce, and flavor to taste. Serve hot.
This basic recipe can be adapted to the ingredients on hand, for example using more beef or other vegetables. Sliced mushrooms would make an especially suitable addition.
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So, I hope you enjoy these recipes if you choose to prepare them. They are definitely tasty and a nice change of pace from the sometimes greasy, overly salty Atkins dishes we usually prepare.
Chicken Primavera Alfredo
Ingredients
- 4 whole boneless, skinless chicken breasts
- 2 medium onions
- minced garlic
- 2 packages stir-fry vegetables (includes broccoli florets, pea pods, shredded zucchini, carrot etc)
- 8 oz sliced mushrooms
- 1 cup butter or margarine
- 1-1/3 cup heavy cream
- 2-1/2 cups grated Parmesan cheese
- salt & fresh ground pepper to taste
Preparation
Cook chicken. I used a George Foreman grill, but it could be boiled, roasted, or otherwise heated through by any method. Slice into bite-size pieces.
Meanwhile, chop and sautée garlic and onion in a skillet with hot olive oil. Cook until onions are translucent. Add stir-fry vegetables and mushrooms, and heat to desired softness, covering to steam. Toss with chicken.
In a separate saucepan, heat butter and cream until butter is melted. Remove from heat, add Parmesan cheese, salt & pepper, and stir until smooth.
Pour Alfredo sauce over chicken and vegetable mixture. Top with Parmesan or Romano cheese, and serve hot.
This recipe makes a very large amount with lots of leftovers - it can easily be halved or otherwise divided. Alfredo sauce recipe comes from this source.
**************************
Thin Beef and Spinach in Three Cheese Cream Sauce
Ingredients
- 3 Steak-Ummms minute steaks or thinly sliced shaved beef
- large onion
- package of frozen chopped spinach
- minced garlic
- 1/2 cup heavy cream
- 4-5 oz cream cheese
- 3 oz crumbled Feta cheese
- 1/2 cup grated Romano cheese
- ground red pepper
- several dashes Worcestershire sauce
- salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
Preparation
Thinly slice onion and sautée with garlic in a skillet with hot oil. Heat until onions are translucent. Add steaks and cover to heat through. Using two wooden spoons, cut up steaks into small pieces. Add salt, peppers, and Worcestershire sauce to flavor. Add package of spinach and cover to steam.
When spinach has fully defrosted, stir in cream, cream cheese, crumbled Feta, and Romano cheese. Combine to a creamy sauce, and flavor to taste. Serve hot.
This basic recipe can be adapted to the ingredients on hand, for example using more beef or other vegetables. Sliced mushrooms would make an especially suitable addition.
**************************
So, I hope you enjoy these recipes if you choose to prepare them. They are definitely tasty and a nice change of pace from the sometimes greasy, overly salty Atkins dishes we usually prepare.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Faltering
Not surprisingly, I'm feeling stymied with Atkins. When I was visiting my family last week, they all kept saying really kind things. I hadn't seen them since March, and both of my parents kept saying I'd lost a ton of weight and looked a lot better. Therefore I thought that, though feeble, my efforts with the Glycemic Impact diet and then Atkins had actually paid off.
Later that weekend, my mother and I went clothes shopping. It was so strange because almost everything I put on fit perfectly. It was flattering, and I didn't look as horrifyingly huge as I expected to, even in a 3-way store mirror. For the first time in a long time, I fit very comfortably into specific sizes (cringe-worthy still, but that is not the point), so I could pick things off the wrack, check out the shape, and know it would look good.
I was pleased and thinking finally, I was making progress in the War on Fat.
This week is a totally different story. I weighed myself this morning and was back up to 178. I was peering in the mirror wondering "Am I retaining water, or have I gained weight back?" This questioning drives me crazy, the doubting, the insecurity, and the unshakable belief that I was just deluding myself trying to lose weight with Atkins anyway.
My boyfriend (rightly) maintains that if I really want to lose weight, I need to exercise. He suggested slowly working carbs back into my diet and picking up some kind of aerobic activity. Unfortunately my gym membership just expired two days ago, and I purposefully did not renew it because I only went once in the past two years.
I understand the equation so clearly it's ridiculous:
I've said before (and recently) that as long as the exercise stays at zero, it will continue to produce zero as my weight loss result as well.
I own so many home exercise books and videos that I should surely be able to find something I enjoy, right? I have weights, I have a yoga mat, I have a big open floor in my apartment where I can do pilates or the NYC Ballet Workout... we even have an exercise bike taking up tons of space in the office, but I am loathe to work out here, from some combination of vanity (don't want my boyfriend to see me) and arrogance (don't want to admit to myself how badly out of shape I am).
I own three or four pairs of barely-used sneakers and a whole wardrobe full of never-used exercise clothing. At any time I choose, I could put some of that on, walk outside, and wander around this big city I inhabit. I even have roller blades I could take to the park.
So what is keeping me from this? Why do I patently refuse to do anything to improve myself or my condition?
I'm going to be leaving the country in something like two weeks. I'll have a suitcase full of new clothes in a shamefully large size, and my visions of traipsing along the streets glamorous and floating on air will more likely resemble waddling along on a squat frame, trudging about with thighs rubbing together, exhausted from the simple effort of going about my day and moving 60 extra pounds around everywhere I go.
It's not just struggling with my appearance, either. I do really worry about my health, my body, and my quality of life as a consequence of neglecting both. I don't want to find myself thinking about getting married or having children and still failing to reach a healthy weight. I don't want to be 40 or 50 and still telling myself "I used to be an athlete" or "When I was 17, I was really thin."
Why do I choose food and laziness over everything else? Why do I take what should be a sacred gift and abuse it as if I hate it? I don't like the person I am when I can't be bothered to exercise or when I make short-term decisions like "the flavor of this ice cream right now is more important than living to know my grandchildren."
I don't want to develop diabetes or heart trouble. I don't want to have a shortened lifespan because I have no self-control. What's more, I don't want to spend the rest of my life tired, struggling anytime I have to move my body, feeling weighed down and listless because I am so overweight.
I think this is enough whining. I'm painfully aware that everything I'm unhappy about is my own fault, and that the only person in the world who can help me out with this is me. I guess what I'm saying is, I'm mad at myself. I'm frustrated with the situation, and it's incredibly tempting right now to just say "Screw it," throw in the towel, and pig out the rest of the time I'm here since, yknow, how much could I possibly lose in two weeks anyway right?
I'm going to be disciplined and stop acting like a brat just because I'm having some set-backs. I hope that tomorrow I can start making some more productive changes in my life and get myself together already.
Later that weekend, my mother and I went clothes shopping. It was so strange because almost everything I put on fit perfectly. It was flattering, and I didn't look as horrifyingly huge as I expected to, even in a 3-way store mirror. For the first time in a long time, I fit very comfortably into specific sizes (cringe-worthy still, but that is not the point), so I could pick things off the wrack, check out the shape, and know it would look good.
I was pleased and thinking finally, I was making progress in the War on Fat.
This week is a totally different story. I weighed myself this morning and was back up to 178. I was peering in the mirror wondering "Am I retaining water, or have I gained weight back?" This questioning drives me crazy, the doubting, the insecurity, and the unshakable belief that I was just deluding myself trying to lose weight with Atkins anyway.
My boyfriend (rightly) maintains that if I really want to lose weight, I need to exercise. He suggested slowly working carbs back into my diet and picking up some kind of aerobic activity. Unfortunately my gym membership just expired two days ago, and I purposefully did not renew it because I only went once in the past two years.
I understand the equation so clearly it's ridiculous:
weight loss = diet x exercise
I've said before (and recently) that as long as the exercise stays at zero, it will continue to produce zero as my weight loss result as well.
I own so many home exercise books and videos that I should surely be able to find something I enjoy, right? I have weights, I have a yoga mat, I have a big open floor in my apartment where I can do pilates or the NYC Ballet Workout... we even have an exercise bike taking up tons of space in the office, but I am loathe to work out here, from some combination of vanity (don't want my boyfriend to see me) and arrogance (don't want to admit to myself how badly out of shape I am).
I own three or four pairs of barely-used sneakers and a whole wardrobe full of never-used exercise clothing. At any time I choose, I could put some of that on, walk outside, and wander around this big city I inhabit. I even have roller blades I could take to the park.
So what is keeping me from this? Why do I patently refuse to do anything to improve myself or my condition?
I'm going to be leaving the country in something like two weeks. I'll have a suitcase full of new clothes in a shamefully large size, and my visions of traipsing along the streets glamorous and floating on air will more likely resemble waddling along on a squat frame, trudging about with thighs rubbing together, exhausted from the simple effort of going about my day and moving 60 extra pounds around everywhere I go.
It's not just struggling with my appearance, either. I do really worry about my health, my body, and my quality of life as a consequence of neglecting both. I don't want to find myself thinking about getting married or having children and still failing to reach a healthy weight. I don't want to be 40 or 50 and still telling myself "I used to be an athlete" or "When I was 17, I was really thin."
Why do I choose food and laziness over everything else? Why do I take what should be a sacred gift and abuse it as if I hate it? I don't like the person I am when I can't be bothered to exercise or when I make short-term decisions like "the flavor of this ice cream right now is more important than living to know my grandchildren."
I don't want to develop diabetes or heart trouble. I don't want to have a shortened lifespan because I have no self-control. What's more, I don't want to spend the rest of my life tired, struggling anytime I have to move my body, feeling weighed down and listless because I am so overweight.
I think this is enough whining. I'm painfully aware that everything I'm unhappy about is my own fault, and that the only person in the world who can help me out with this is me. I guess what I'm saying is, I'm mad at myself. I'm frustrated with the situation, and it's incredibly tempting right now to just say "Screw it," throw in the towel, and pig out the rest of the time I'm here since, yknow, how much could I possibly lose in two weeks anyway right?
I'm going to be disciplined and stop acting like a brat just because I'm having some set-backs. I hope that tomorrow I can start making some more productive changes in my life and get myself together already.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Slip-Up
I knew it wouldn't be easy to stick exclusively to Atkins, and last night proved my first big mess-up. We had overnight guests coming, and because one is a vegetarian, I had a hard time finding a restaurant that would suit all of us. We went to a really delicious Indian place in Manhattan.
Now the food was incomparably wonderful, including the best samosas I've ever had, but everything was carb-laden and starchy - curry sauces, potatoes, lentils, rice, and tons of garlic nan. My boyfriend and I had avoided carbs all day in anticipation of keeping them all within an hour, trying the Carbohydrate Addicts' method (which I still don't fully believe really works). Our meal was much longer than an hour, but I thought it was probably okay since it was just one (admittedly very large) meal.
Where we really blew it was later on, as we were on our way home from the subway, when we bought full-fat, full-sugar Ben & Jerry's ice cream in two flavors (mint chocolate cookie and cinnamon bun). On the subway, my boyfriend and I had spoken privately and agreed we would have the low-carb ice cream bars in our fridge and just give our guests the sugary stuff... but as I was scooping out bowls, he gave me a look and we both knew we were just flagrantly disregarding Atkins so we could enjoy the same dessert as our friends.
I'm definitely disappointed with myself for making such a foolish decision. The ice cream tasted great, but I felt guilty the whole time I was eating it and if I really thought about it, I couldn't even say I enjoyed it. I'm so frustrated that I can't stay on any diet, even one as easy as Atkins, for more than like two weeks.
This morning I resolved to get right back on track and not dwell on last night's mistakes, but I screwed up first thing in the morning. I'd found an awesome recipe for citrus ade, which I made fresh this morning substituting Splenda for sugar. The reason I'd planned to make this is because the same vegetarian friend doesn't drink carbonated or caffeinated beverages and often balks at anything with added sugar in it (as most fruit juices available in our grocery have). For some reason it hadn't occurred to me that grapefruits have carbs in them because lemons and limes are allowed on Atkins. Even though I didn't drink much of it, I think I've already had my day's carbs. Bummer.
I hope I can keep it together before I wreck all the progress I've made so far. I will also try to remember to weigh-in tomorrow, seeing as I've been really unaccountable lately.
Now the food was incomparably wonderful, including the best samosas I've ever had, but everything was carb-laden and starchy - curry sauces, potatoes, lentils, rice, and tons of garlic nan. My boyfriend and I had avoided carbs all day in anticipation of keeping them all within an hour, trying the Carbohydrate Addicts' method (which I still don't fully believe really works). Our meal was much longer than an hour, but I thought it was probably okay since it was just one (admittedly very large) meal.
Where we really blew it was later on, as we were on our way home from the subway, when we bought full-fat, full-sugar Ben & Jerry's ice cream in two flavors (mint chocolate cookie and cinnamon bun). On the subway, my boyfriend and I had spoken privately and agreed we would have the low-carb ice cream bars in our fridge and just give our guests the sugary stuff... but as I was scooping out bowls, he gave me a look and we both knew we were just flagrantly disregarding Atkins so we could enjoy the same dessert as our friends.
I'm definitely disappointed with myself for making such a foolish decision. The ice cream tasted great, but I felt guilty the whole time I was eating it and if I really thought about it, I couldn't even say I enjoyed it. I'm so frustrated that I can't stay on any diet, even one as easy as Atkins, for more than like two weeks.
This morning I resolved to get right back on track and not dwell on last night's mistakes, but I screwed up first thing in the morning. I'd found an awesome recipe for citrus ade, which I made fresh this morning substituting Splenda for sugar. The reason I'd planned to make this is because the same vegetarian friend doesn't drink carbonated or caffeinated beverages and often balks at anything with added sugar in it (as most fruit juices available in our grocery have). For some reason it hadn't occurred to me that grapefruits have carbs in them because lemons and limes are allowed on Atkins. Even though I didn't drink much of it, I think I've already had my day's carbs. Bummer.
I hope I can keep it together before I wreck all the progress I've made so far. I will also try to remember to weigh-in tomorrow, seeing as I've been really unaccountable lately.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
A Nice Weekend
As a commenter recently noted, I've been away awhile. I'll back-post a few things I have drafts of, but in the meantime, I'm pretty proud of how I handled myself this past weekend.
I went down to visit my family, which is often a major diet-killer. I got there Saturday night, and my parents and I went to a steakhouse for dinner. I thought I was safe ordering a flat iron steak with a burgundy reduction sauce... but they served it with a big pile of delicious French fries. I managed to eat around them and enjoyed the heck out of my steak. I rewarded myself with a low-sugar ice cream which fit within my daily carbs despite having 11 grams.
Sunday was easier, as I ate turkey roll-ups and then my father barbecued a bunch of things, including cheddar wurst and sausage patties with cheese for me. I made Caesar salads for my family, and they all enjoyed them. I was even able to enjoy a Caipirinha made with Splenda - fabulous.
On Monday, my mother and I got dinner at Ruby Tuesday's, and I was tempted to take a page from the Carbohydrate Addicts' diet, wherein I would eat a carb-laden meal, but keep all my carbs within one hour. Or something. I'm not even sure that works, but I'm glad I decided against it anyway. I got a portobello mushroom topped steak with Parmesan cream sauce that was spectacular. My dish came with steamed broccoli and a baked potato, but the waitress was all too happy to sub in some broiled green beans, which were also delicious. On the way home, we got a package of CarbSmart ice cream bars which are only 5 grams per, but I did end up eating two, which was a definite lapse in self-control. Nevertheless, I stayed well below 20 carbs for the day and felt proud of myself for finding a way to make it work.
Lastly on Tuesday, I went most of the day without eating, and was feeling kind of dizzy as a consequence. I cooked Ropa Vieja for my family before heading out, and while I thought it was spectacular, they felt it was too spicy. I began to wonder if Atkins is effecting my sense of taste and flavor, since we add so many spices to cut that greasy "Atkins taste." I will have to look into this.
Since returning, I've continued being really good, though I'm concerned that not eating for long portions of the day is lowering my blood sugar and causing my weight loss to plateau.
I did make a fabulous dinner tonight, though, and I wish I'd thought to take a photo. I grilled chicken breasts and sauteed a bunch of vegetables, then topped it all with a decadent homemade Alfredo sauce. Being on Atkins is about the only possible situation in which I'd consider that sauce healthy, but man, it was delicious.
I went down to visit my family, which is often a major diet-killer. I got there Saturday night, and my parents and I went to a steakhouse for dinner. I thought I was safe ordering a flat iron steak with a burgundy reduction sauce... but they served it with a big pile of delicious French fries. I managed to eat around them and enjoyed the heck out of my steak. I rewarded myself with a low-sugar ice cream which fit within my daily carbs despite having 11 grams.
Sunday was easier, as I ate turkey roll-ups and then my father barbecued a bunch of things, including cheddar wurst and sausage patties with cheese for me. I made Caesar salads for my family, and they all enjoyed them. I was even able to enjoy a Caipirinha made with Splenda - fabulous.
On Monday, my mother and I got dinner at Ruby Tuesday's, and I was tempted to take a page from the Carbohydrate Addicts' diet, wherein I would eat a carb-laden meal, but keep all my carbs within one hour. Or something. I'm not even sure that works, but I'm glad I decided against it anyway. I got a portobello mushroom topped steak with Parmesan cream sauce that was spectacular. My dish came with steamed broccoli and a baked potato, but the waitress was all too happy to sub in some broiled green beans, which were also delicious. On the way home, we got a package of CarbSmart ice cream bars which are only 5 grams per, but I did end up eating two, which was a definite lapse in self-control. Nevertheless, I stayed well below 20 carbs for the day and felt proud of myself for finding a way to make it work.
Lastly on Tuesday, I went most of the day without eating, and was feeling kind of dizzy as a consequence. I cooked Ropa Vieja for my family before heading out, and while I thought it was spectacular, they felt it was too spicy. I began to wonder if Atkins is effecting my sense of taste and flavor, since we add so many spices to cut that greasy "Atkins taste." I will have to look into this.
Since returning, I've continued being really good, though I'm concerned that not eating for long portions of the day is lowering my blood sugar and causing my weight loss to plateau.
I did make a fabulous dinner tonight, though, and I wish I'd thought to take a photo. I grilled chicken breasts and sauteed a bunch of vegetables, then topped it all with a decadent homemade Alfredo sauce. Being on Atkins is about the only possible situation in which I'd consider that sauce healthy, but man, it was delicious.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Atkins, Day Sixteen
Arbitrarily, I've decided to stop keeping track of everything I eat in a day (I'm sure you're relieved). Basically, I think I'm figuring out how to make Atkins work and I've learned lots about my eating habits, so I'd say the listing has served its purpose. I'm not sneaking foods in or trying to go over my carbs in a day - I've just stuck to the "diet" and enjoyed it.
This evening I made up a recipe for hot Italian sausage with peppers and mushrooms in a spicy tomato cream sauce, heavy on Romano cheese. It was mostly delicious, but I know that I should have reduced the sauce before mixing it with the other ingredients. Instead I made it all in one pan and tried to simmer it down... it's just not the same.
I was reminded of an experience in a restaurant just after I learned to make vodka sauce, when I was served a dish that kept separating into oily constituent pools. It goes without saying, I was disgusted, and not for the oil (because everyone should know that half of restaurant sauces is oil), but for the amateurish cream sauce. My twelve-year-old indignation knew no bounds. Really though, there's something about learning to cook that makes one especially offended when someone professional does it wrong.
Otherwise today was a good day, and I'm hoping for another sizable loss at weigh-in tomorrow.
I'm a little worried about visiting my parents this weekend for Mother's Day - they have a knack for blowing my diets - but I think I should be able to keep it together and resist sweets or the big starchy potato roll my father always offers with a burger.
This evening I made up a recipe for hot Italian sausage with peppers and mushrooms in a spicy tomato cream sauce, heavy on Romano cheese. It was mostly delicious, but I know that I should have reduced the sauce before mixing it with the other ingredients. Instead I made it all in one pan and tried to simmer it down... it's just not the same.
I was reminded of an experience in a restaurant just after I learned to make vodka sauce, when I was served a dish that kept separating into oily constituent pools. It goes without saying, I was disgusted, and not for the oil (because everyone should know that half of restaurant sauces is oil), but for the amateurish cream sauce. My twelve-year-old indignation knew no bounds. Really though, there's something about learning to cook that makes one especially offended when someone professional does it wrong.
Otherwise today was a good day, and I'm hoping for another sizable loss at weigh-in tomorrow.
I'm a little worried about visiting my parents this weekend for Mother's Day - they have a knack for blowing my diets - but I think I should be able to keep it together and resist sweets or the big starchy potato roll my father always offers with a burger.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Atkins, Day Fifteen
As I mentioned, I was up all night cleaning and reorganizing, but I cut off eating around 4am. I stayed up, but didn't eat again until the afternoon, and I'm not really sure why.
Today was one of those truly hot days, where trying to move things around resulted in torrents of sweat. I guess it's logical that all I wanted was ice cream, but I need to make sure I'm not skimping on important nutrients to be able to fit them into the diet.
- 3 pm - 3 pieces marinated mozzarella, 4 slices beef bologna, 12 oz chocolate cherry fudge soda
- 5:30 pm - CarbSmart rocky road ice cream
- 9:00 pm - turkey and pepper jack roll-ups, 32 oz Diet Dr Pepper
- 11:30 pm - CarbSmart ice cream bar
Today was one of those truly hot days, where trying to move things around resulted in torrents of sweat. I guess it's logical that all I wanted was ice cream, but I need to make sure I'm not skimping on important nutrients to be able to fit them into the diet.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Atkins, Day Fourteen
I'm not sure why, but I woke up in a terrible mood. I kept snapping at my boyfriend and felt like I couldn't concentrate on anything. We ended up getting in a huge fight, and I think my crankiness was a huge part of that.
My boyfriend went to the grocery in the morning, then I went in the afternoon because I thought he didn't get anything substantive, mostly snack foods. It's probably obvious from today's foods that when we have a lot of options, we graze all day.
We had a friend over in the afternoon, and he joined us in the grazing. It's a bit weird explaining to someone that we have pounds of deli meat but nothing for them to eat it on. He went nuts for the low-carb ice cream, though, and ate probably four or five servings to each one of ours.
I ended up staying up all night rearranging the furniture in our apartment, which worked up quite a sweat. I don't know if it technically counts as exercise, but it felt good to use my muscles.
My boyfriend went to the grocery in the morning, then I went in the afternoon because I thought he didn't get anything substantive, mostly snack foods. It's probably obvious from today's foods that when we have a lot of options, we graze all day.
- 12:25 pm - fresh mozzarella marinated in olive oil and herbs, 12 oz can diet cherry chocolate fudge soda
- 5:30 pm - turkey and pepper jack roll-ups, 16 oz Diet Dr Pepper, 12 oz diet cherry chocolate fudge soda
- 6:20 pm - CarbSmart rocky roadice cream, piece of mozzarella, 2 slices beef bologna
- 8:35 pm - 16 oz Diet Dr Pepper
- 9:20 pm - Wendy's double melt mushroom bacon cheeseburger with some kind of Parmesan sauce, 16 oz Diet Dr Pepper
- 10:10 pm - 3 pieces mozzarella, 4 slices beef bologna
- 1:30 am - 16 oz Diet Dr Pepper
- 3:50 am - bologna & Cheddar roll-ups, CarbSmart rocky road ice cream, 12 oz cherry chocolate cordial soda
We had a friend over in the afternoon, and he joined us in the grazing. It's a bit weird explaining to someone that we have pounds of deli meat but nothing for them to eat it on. He went nuts for the low-carb ice cream, though, and ate probably four or five servings to each one of ours.
I ended up staying up all night rearranging the furniture in our apartment, which worked up quite a sweat. I don't know if it technically counts as exercise, but it felt good to use my muscles.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Atkins, Day Thirteen
I was so worn out from the past two days' work that I slept late, then when I finished running errands in the afternoon, slept some more. My boyfriend woke me up to eat, but I was mostly dead to the world. It's been a long semester.
The beef curry was unfortunately very disappointing. We had a big package of ground beef on the edge of going bad, and I think we just missed being able to get away with it. My boyfriend cooked this for a really long time to try to get that old meat flavor out, but it still pervaded the larger pieces. It's a shame because the curry sauce he made was really quite tasty.
As I was falling asleep, I thought to myself that it would be a very good idea to go to the grocery in the morning.
- 2:00 pm - piece of Trident
- 4:25 pm - 16 oz Diet Coke
- 4:30 pm - raspberry Jello, half a Soyjoy mango coconut bar
- 10:10 pm - beef curry made with artichoke hearts, 16 oz Diet Coke
- 12:32 am - 16 oz diet iced green tea
- 2:30 am - big chunk of Cheddar cheese
The beef curry was unfortunately very disappointing. We had a big package of ground beef on the edge of going bad, and I think we just missed being able to get away with it. My boyfriend cooked this for a really long time to try to get that old meat flavor out, but it still pervaded the larger pieces. It's a shame because the curry sauce he made was really quite tasty.
As I was falling asleep, I thought to myself that it would be a very good idea to go to the grocery in the morning.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Atkins, Day Twelve
I stayed up all night reading, writing a paper, and studying for a big final exam, so I know I should have been exhausted, but running on pure adrenaline I found I was downright cheerful and energetic.
The egg, sausage & mushrooms were a great combination that my boyfriend very nicely prepared for me. I probably should have eaten more to help keep my energy up, but I had very little appetite.
I ended up having to pull a second all-nighter finishing the last big paper I had to hand in. I finished it in the wee hours of the next morning and was so deliriously tired that I fell asleep until the afternoon. I got it turned in within office hours, but not as early as I'd wanted, which annoyed me.
- 1:15 pm - turkey roll-ups, 32 oz diet iced green tea
- 6:34 pm - eggs with sausage & mushrooms, 16 oz Diet Coke
- 10:52 pm - egg and sausage wrap with cheese, 16 oz Diet Dr Pepper
- 1:30 am - sparkly Jello made with diet cranberry ginger ale, 16 oz Diet Coke
- 4:12 am - 12 oz Diet Coke, big chunk of cheese
The egg, sausage & mushrooms were a great combination that my boyfriend very nicely prepared for me. I probably should have eaten more to help keep my energy up, but I had very little appetite.
I ended up having to pull a second all-nighter finishing the last big paper I had to hand in. I finished it in the wee hours of the next morning and was so deliriously tired that I fell asleep until the afternoon. I got it turned in within office hours, but not as early as I'd wanted, which annoyed me.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Atkins, Day Eleven
I had an important paper to write today, though I did get out to take a walk in the afternoon. I'm glad we made so much food on Friday, as it held me through the rest of the weekend.
I was surprised by how satisfying the turkey and cheese roll-ups were - I think these are becoming my staple meal lately.
The faux cheesecake was tasty - it's made with cream cheese, vanilla protein powder, and Splenda, all mashed together. Adding the Jello to the top really perked it up.
- 8:45 am - Ropa Vieja with pepper jack cheese, 16 oz Diet Dr Pepper, One-a-Day WeightSmart multivitamin, chromium picolinate
- 12:38 pm - 16 oz water
- 3:15 pm - Ropa Vieja with cheese, 16 oz Diet Dr Pepper
- 8:15 pm - 16 oz diet cranberry ginger ale
- 9:28 pm - turkey roll-ups & dill pickles, 16 oz Diet Dr Pepper
- 9:52 pm - raspberry Jello with Cool Whip
- 11:05 pm - turkey roll-ups, 16 oz diet cranberry ginger ale
- 12:30 am - faux cheesecake with Jello, 16 oz iced green tea
I was surprised by how satisfying the turkey and cheese roll-ups were - I think these are becoming my staple meal lately.
The faux cheesecake was tasty - it's made with cream cheese, vanilla protein powder, and Splenda, all mashed together. Adding the Jello to the top really perked it up.
Weigh-In
175.5. Down 6 pounds from my initial Atkins weigh-in.
6 pounds in 10 days, I will happily take. I finally got into the mid-170s, which I've been struggling to do for months now. I feel great, not at all deprived, and I find I'm much more disciplined at this "diet" than any thus far (though really, I still feel like I'm cheating).
It is probably just my imagination, but my clothes seem to be fitting slightly better too. Skirts that were too snug around my waist just a month ago now fit perfectly. I will have to take my measurements, perhaps for next week, to see if there is real change or not.
I also have to say, it really helps that my boyfriend is so enthusiastic about this and is doing it with me. When I was on the GI diet or the general low-fat, low-calorie one, he would kind of eat the meals if I would cook for him, but he never really wanted to get involved, which meant I didn't have any help with it. Because he has previously lost 40 pounds doing Atkins, he has all kinds of tips for making it more successful, and he's all too happy to put together a tasty meal or snack. That, combined with the fact that he's no longer eating normal food while I suffer through a lousy meal, makes a huge difference in fighting temptation and sticking to a dieting approach.
I know there is usually an initial burst of weight loss when starting a new diet, but I hope that I can continue losing at this rate - or even faster - because I now have less than a month before leaving for Italy. I am also a bit worried that as soon as I go back to eating carbs while there, I will gain back anything I lose plus some, so I am already thinking about dieting and exercising strategies among all my other concerns for living in a foreign country. I have a (perhaps not unrealistic) fantasy that I will be able to continue losing weight while there and come back to the states way thinner and in better shape than when I left. That would be really, really nice.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Atkins, Day Ten
I stayed up really late last night talking with an old friend, so I was reluctant to get out of bed and get cranking on work. As it happened, I ended up getting very little done and passing out pretty early in the evening. I then slept through the night, which is good for my body, but very bad for my productivity.
I swear, I'm not pregnant. I just wanted weird food and otherwise had little appetite today. I know it's just nervous energy about blowing off my schoolwork, but I need to eat the proper amount of calories in a day or I'll binge to make up for it tomorrow.
Incidentally, I keep forgetting to do weigh-ins on Saturdays, so I will be sure to weigh myself properly tomorrow.
- 2:35 pm - 16 oz Diet Dr Pepper, One-a-Day WeightSmart multivitamin, chromium picolinate, handful of salted mixed nuts
- 6:43 pm - thin deli sliced beef bologna, dill pickle spears, 16 oz Diet Dr Pepper
I swear, I'm not pregnant. I just wanted weird food and otherwise had little appetite today. I know it's just nervous energy about blowing off my schoolwork, but I need to eat the proper amount of calories in a day or I'll binge to make up for it tomorrow.
Incidentally, I keep forgetting to do weigh-ins on Saturdays, so I will be sure to weigh myself properly tomorrow.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Atkins, Day Nine
Once again, I had lots of work to do and all kinds of things planned, but I opted to sleep late (like noon) and take my time going about the day. I'm going to have a very hard time come Sunday night, given that everything is due Monday, but I guess I'm not really thinking about that right now.
I had been wandering around kind of spacey until I first ate today, and my boyfriend kept asking what was wrong with me. True, I was distracted, but it was surprising to finally realize "Oh, I guess I'm hungry?" The funny thing about Atkins is that it really diminishes appetite and physical hunger, so I can go all day without eating - and that's probably not good.
The wrap I had was fantastic, and I loved the avocado. We were guzzling pitchers full of the sugar-free (and no carb) iced green tea, so I went to the grocery to get more mix. I found myself at the deli counter getting all kinds of things and noticed my basket was nearly full. I suppose this is fine because I wasn't even tempted to get anything bad, which is a major advantage for me.
On traditional diets, I found all kinds of ways of rationalizing a little snack here or a bite or two of something decadent, saying I wasn't completely blowing the diet, just having a treat. Now I know that if I scarf down something illicit, it really will sabotage my entire day. To that extent, I'm being a lot more disciplined as far as only eating carb-free foods and carefully counting those that do have them. Thusfar, I'm really satisfied, too.
The Ropa Vieja was a smashing success. We improvised a chicken version and melted pepper jack cheese on top. I hope it's not immodest to say it rivaled the best dishes I've ever had at my very favorite Mexican restaurant. I will absolutely have to make this again. (When I do, I'll be sure to write up the recipe to share).
It also occurred to me as I was boiling water for Jello, that I could make more than one package at a time. Since it takes 4-5 hours to properly set, and I rarely think to make it before 8:30, my boyfriend and I spend a lot of time dancing around the fridge, impatiently poking at it and waiting to have some. This time I made the double-size (4 cups) box of raspberry, as well as a box of strawberry where I substituted diet cranberry ginger ale for cold water. We were both especially curious about this one, and it was really quite fabulous, though not as bubbly as I thought it would be. I got all kinds of ideas for other ways of preparing it, however, like clear gelatin with just the cranberry ginger ale flavor or a light-colored (peach maybe?) Jello with the pink added to get sparkly light pink cubes. I'll play more.
- 3:40 pm - turkey and pepper jack roll-ups, 16 oz sugar-free iced green tea
- 3:57 pm - fresh herb salad with creamy Caesar dressing, 16 oz sugar-free iced green tea
- 6:30 pm - 32 oz sugar-free iced green tea
- 7:25 pm - turkey, avocado & pepper jack cheese with low-fat mayonnaise on low-carb salsa-flavored wrap, 16 oz sugar-free iced green tea
- 8:20 pm - thin deli slice of beef bologna
- 9:23 pm - plantation mint tea with half & half and Splenda
- 10:00 pm - Ropa Vieja with pepper jack cheese, 16 oz diet cranberry ginger ale
- 12:45 am - 16 oz diet cranberry ginger ale
- 1:30 am - strawberry Jello made with cranberry ginger ale, extra creamy Cool Whip
I had been wandering around kind of spacey until I first ate today, and my boyfriend kept asking what was wrong with me. True, I was distracted, but it was surprising to finally realize "Oh, I guess I'm hungry?" The funny thing about Atkins is that it really diminishes appetite and physical hunger, so I can go all day without eating - and that's probably not good.
The wrap I had was fantastic, and I loved the avocado. We were guzzling pitchers full of the sugar-free (and no carb) iced green tea, so I went to the grocery to get more mix. I found myself at the deli counter getting all kinds of things and noticed my basket was nearly full. I suppose this is fine because I wasn't even tempted to get anything bad, which is a major advantage for me.
On traditional diets, I found all kinds of ways of rationalizing a little snack here or a bite or two of something decadent, saying I wasn't completely blowing the diet, just having a treat. Now I know that if I scarf down something illicit, it really will sabotage my entire day. To that extent, I'm being a lot more disciplined as far as only eating carb-free foods and carefully counting those that do have them. Thusfar, I'm really satisfied, too.
The Ropa Vieja was a smashing success. We improvised a chicken version and melted pepper jack cheese on top. I hope it's not immodest to say it rivaled the best dishes I've ever had at my very favorite Mexican restaurant. I will absolutely have to make this again. (When I do, I'll be sure to write up the recipe to share).
It also occurred to me as I was boiling water for Jello, that I could make more than one package at a time. Since it takes 4-5 hours to properly set, and I rarely think to make it before 8:30, my boyfriend and I spend a lot of time dancing around the fridge, impatiently poking at it and waiting to have some. This time I made the double-size (4 cups) box of raspberry, as well as a box of strawberry where I substituted diet cranberry ginger ale for cold water. We were both especially curious about this one, and it was really quite fabulous, though not as bubbly as I thought it would be. I got all kinds of ideas for other ways of preparing it, however, like clear gelatin with just the cranberry ginger ale flavor or a light-colored (peach maybe?) Jello with the pink added to get sparkly light pink cubes. I'll play more.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Atkins, Day Eight
Today I didn't have anything explicitly due, though I have an abundance of work I should be doing. Instead I've found myself enjoying the sunshine, painting, and similar.
Today was a really good day. In the midst of having so much work to do, I genuinely enjoyed myself. My boyfriend went to the grocery and got a bunch of tasty things - you can see at my 9:40 listing that he had just gotten home and we were both grazing over the items as we put them away.
It's funny, but mint green tea is becoming one of my favorite treats. I'm going to have to get a box of it because this was my last bag from a variety pack.
We discovered that having Cool Whip around the house is super-dangerous. Though it's only a few grams of carbs per serving, it's immensely difficult to limit oneself to only one serving. My boyfriend kept wandering over to the fridge and taking out spoonfuls or over-serving himself on his Jello. I was considerably more restrained, and I found that having the Cool Whip with cherry Jello is an unbelievably satisfying dessert.
- 12:30 pm - scrambled eggs & Italian breakfast sausages, 16 oz Diet Coke
- 2:00 pm - 16 oz Diet Coke, One-a-Day WeightSmart multivitamin, chromium picolinate
- 8:35 pm - 16 oz water
- 8:43 pm - mint green tea with half & half and Splenda
- 9:40 pm - 2 tbsp extra creamy Cool Whip, 1/2 slice deli turkey, handful salted mixed nuts, baby dill pickle
- 10:15 pm - broiled pepper-edged steak, green beans with garlic butter, 16 oz Diet Coke
- 10:27 pm - handful mixed nuts, 16 oz Diet Coke
- 11:39 pm - sugar-free cherry Jello with extra creamy Cool Whip
Today was a really good day. In the midst of having so much work to do, I genuinely enjoyed myself. My boyfriend went to the grocery and got a bunch of tasty things - you can see at my 9:40 listing that he had just gotten home and we were both grazing over the items as we put them away.
It's funny, but mint green tea is becoming one of my favorite treats. I'm going to have to get a box of it because this was my last bag from a variety pack.
We discovered that having Cool Whip around the house is super-dangerous. Though it's only a few grams of carbs per serving, it's immensely difficult to limit oneself to only one serving. My boyfriend kept wandering over to the fridge and taking out spoonfuls or over-serving himself on his Jello. I was considerably more restrained, and I found that having the Cool Whip with cherry Jello is an unbelievably satisfying dessert.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Atkins, Day Seven
My main focus today was on a really important final exam. I was frantically studying up until minutes before I had to leave (I was actually a few minutes late), so food was at the bottom of my list of priorities. Fortunately, my boyfriend made me a nice breakfast as well as a lunch which I shoved down my throat barely tasting. I'm very glad he did, or I know I wouldn't have been able to concentrate on my exam.
The second kielbasa dish was much better than the wrap, I think because the sauerkraut flavor really penetrated deep into it and cut some of the grease. Now that I think of it, my boyfriend made this for me as well - he's a really nice guy!
- 2:00 pm - eggs & egg whites scrambled with cream cheese, salt & pepper, 16 oz water
- 5:00 pm - kielbasa & sauerkraut with mustard on a salsa-flavored low-carb wrap, 16 oz water
- 10:00 pm - 16 oz water
- 11:00 pm - kielbasa & sauerkraut with onions, 16 oz sugar-free iced green tea, 16 oz water
The second kielbasa dish was much better than the wrap, I think because the sauerkraut flavor really penetrated deep into it and cut some of the grease. Now that I think of it, my boyfriend made this for me as well - he's a really nice guy!
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Atkins, Day Six
Today caused a bit of trepidation, as I had two end-of-semester parties during my class times. I was sort of annoyed at myself because instead of looking forward to them, I was grumbling that they would blow my "diet."
As it turned out the first one was a breakfast, and the only options were bagels with cream cheese, so I just had some black coffee. By the second one, I had cheered up quite a lot and decided to just enjoy myself and have a good time.
I'm glad I relaxed at the second party because I had a wonderful time. I also got pretty smashed, but since I didn't make an ass of myself, it wasn't a bad thing.
My boyfriend prepared a delicious curry using minute steaks that was truly out of this world. He used unsweetened soy milk to thicken the sauce, and it came out fantastic.
As it turned out the first one was a breakfast, and the only options were bagels with cream cheese, so I just had some black coffee. By the second one, I had cheered up quite a lot and decided to just enjoy myself and have a good time.
- 8:40 am - smoked gouda, 16 oz Diet Coke, piece of Whitening gum
- 10:40 am - black coffee
- 12:50 pm - 2 ground chicken patties with cheese
- 1:25 pm - 16 oz Diet Pepsi, second 1/2 bag of salted cashews
- 3-8 pm (party) - bite of cheesecake brownie, bite of regular brownie, 3 big rum drinks each with a splash of regular Coke, glass of sake, carrots & whole grain Wheat Thins dipped in hummus, tomato with mozzarella and oil
- 12:00 am - beef curry with onions and green beans, 16-20 oz Diet Pepsi, 32 oz sugar free iced green tea
I'm glad I relaxed at the second party because I had a wonderful time. I also got pretty smashed, but since I didn't make an ass of myself, it wasn't a bad thing.
My boyfriend prepared a delicious curry using minute steaks that was truly out of this world. He used unsweetened soy milk to thicken the sauce, and it came out fantastic.
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