Restored motivation

When I was registering for this fall's classes last spring, I was mainly stressing about the difficulty and time demands of the lab classes I'm taking, so I added in a 2-credit Wellness and Physical Fitness class to round out my schedule. This seemingly blow-off decision has turned out to be a highly fortuitous one because I am finally, finally getting on track with my fitness and weight loss goals.

As it turns out, school is one of the few things I prioritize appropriately, so making my fitness part of a course requirement actually forces me to pay attention to what I'm doing, to treat workout sessions as assignments I must complete, and to take my reflection essays and progress seriously. Thank goodness!

A guiding philosophy

One of the best components of this class is its balanced and well-rounded approach. I had assumed, like many students, that the class would solely consist of working out in the gym once a week (since that is what most college fitness classes are), and I was feeling a little foolish for spending tuition credit on an essentially extremely overpriced gym membership. It turns out, though, that this class is structured around the ideas laid out in Dr Irwin Schwartz's The Awesome Foursome, a book I highly recommend.

The four components of wellness and fitness are addressed in tandem: sensible eating, cardiovascular exercise, stretching, and weight training. It seems dumb, but prior to reading this book, I didn't realize the connection, for example, between flexibility and toning - the more of your muscles you are able to use, the more effectively you can tone them throughout, and as a consequence, the shapelier you can become. Duh, right? And yet, I've gone almost 30 years without recognizing this relationship.

My class has so far introduced a new component each week and integrated them with the others. It was particularly eye-opening to keep a three-day food journal and perform a nutritional analysis on my caloric intake (I'll write much more about that in a separate entry). I'm glad that both the professor and this book don't embrace dieting or any gimmicky weight-loss system (I can't count the amount of fitness-minded people who have blathered on about carbs, and even this summer, I was seriously considering the Dukan Diet to try to drop weight quickly). Instead, the emphasis is on developing a balanced, sensible eating lifestyle, which has been one of my long-term goals around here for a while.

And wow, I love exercise...?

In addition to eating well and living mindfully, the major work in this pursuit is exercise, whose benefits I have long known and yet long avoided. Maybe it's just showing up at the gym in workout clothes, or having the requirement that I can't skip class and don't want to lie on my workout journals. Whatever accountability I needed, I finally have it, and I'm feeling it in my own motivation.

For example, no one will ever know about my deal with myself to take the stairs all the time, even if my class is on the sixth floor or I'm really tired and want to just get on the ferry to go home. But I know, and I've stopped accepting my own excuses. I can finally say, "You spent all that time on a treadmill and you can't walk up 20 or 30 stairs??" and by the time I've finished arguing with myself, it's done.

This week's assignment included developing a workout schedule to fit the aerobic activities, strength/endurance training, and stretching into my daily routine. I will admit: this is a task I've been meaning to do for literally years and came up with so many excuses and contingencies it's absurd. I finally sat down for about twenty minutes, armed with the schedule to a pool and the knowledge of feasibility in using the gym at my school, and I mapped out minimally six times a week that I can work out. Some were blindingly simple: stay for a half hour to 45 min after class to get in an extra workout; others required a bit of planning (go to the afternoon swimming session so I have the evening free for homework and errands). Now that I have my schedule, I need to put it on my calendar and treat it like class or a social commitment I don't want to miss - for whatever reason, if something makes it to my calendar, I'm 95% more likely to do it than if I just "mean to."

My personal challenge will be in maintaining the discipline to actually get to the pool and swim at all my scheduled times, since obviously it would be easier to nap on my couch or knit and watch TV on the internet during that same time. All my distractions and procrastinatory tasks will still be there after swimming, and I have to remember these workouts are something I'm doing for myself because I like myself and I want to be fitter.

Most of all, positivity

The most helpful thing about this class and about this particular approach to weight loss and fitness has been positivity, which I believe stems from a gradual introduction of lifestyle changes and brutal honesty with myself. In the past, I've been quickly discouraged by trying to take on too many changes at once, then abandoning them all as soon as I get stressed out. This time, I can accept that I won't get it all right and I'm bound to slip up and make mistakes, but at least for this whole semester, I am committed to sticking with it, to continuing to show up and talk about what progress I've made and what more I'm attempting.

I am able to tell myself, in almost all cases, "Hey, it's okay. You're working on it," and finally, it's the truth.

Attaining lifelong sensible eating habits and physical fitness is not something that happens overnight or in two weeks if I just start some crash diet and exercise. Yes, I want to drop a significant amount of weight, and yes, it would be terrific if it would happen quickly. But the real reward would be developing the habits of going to the gym, maintaining a schedule that includes exercise and time to take care of my body, and learning how to adjust my eating habits to a healthy but manageable "non-diet" that fits in my real life. Becoming accustomed to muscle soreness and fatigue, as a reminder of the hard work I did at the gym that day, is a real treat and something I've desperately missed since my years as an athlete.

I finally have regained the faith that slowly, eventually, and gently, I will transform myself into the fitter, healthier person I've missed so dearly, and by doing it carefully and kindly, it will become a lasting lifestyle change. I can't even begin to describe the way I am filled with happiness and enthusiasm about it.