Actual Lifestyle Changes

 

Every time I come over here I'm embarrassed at how long it's been since I've written or, for that matter, made substantive changes in my life. When I wrote my last post, I was at a fairly all-consuming and stressful job that became much more so over time. My mental health was affected to the point where I started seeing a psychiatrist again for anxiety and depression. I went on another disastrous course of medication, but we didn't get to calibrate it to a therapeutic level before I left my job and lost my health insurance. But leaving that job and its stress made a substantive difference in my overall happiness and quality of life. I made a commitment to better health over the past year, which has included a lot of healing and recovery.

 

A few months before I left my job, I transitioned my diet to what I've been calling "semi-vegetarian." I had a variety of health, environmental, and spiritual reasons for doing it, but it's been surprisingly easy to stick with. I made a commitment to avoid factory-farmed animal products, so the meat I do occasionally eat is free range game or wild-caught fish from my father and brother or meat that I can be assured is grass-fed, free of antibiotics and hormones, and as humanely raised as possible. It has made a noticeable difference in my gastrointestinal health, and I feel a lot more in balance with my place in the world.

 

Around New Year's I read an article about keeping a self-care journal, and it struck a chord in me. I started mine in a color-coded spreadsheet. Each day I've been tracking Mood, Appetite, Energy, Hours of Sleep, Exercise, Ounces of Fluid (using the excellent free version of the Waterlogged app), Servings of Caffeine, Weight, and Menstrual Cycle. I also have columns to check off if I've Showered, Brushed My Teeth, Made My Bed, done my French Lesson (on Duolingo), Meditated (more on that below), Read, and list what Creative Pursuits I do. It probably shouldn't seem like a big deal to check off showering or reading, but in the midst of depression, sometimes it's important to be able to look at a column and see what I haven't done yet that might improve my day.

 

 

I know there are all kinds of productivity and mood-tracking apps (I have been using Clue for menstrual tracking for a while now and especially like it) but for me, it's been most helpful to look at my own sheet and observe the patterns. The image above is the past months' Mood, Appetite, and Energy, where green is average, pink is elevated / high, and blue is depressed / low. Because I am also keeping brief notes on what I did each day, sometimes I can see when a low mood is because I was, for example, doing my taxes and didn't eat until 6pm, versus if I haven't showered in 2 days and have been sleeping excessively. I've already seen noticeable correlations between mood / energy and my menstrual cycle, and I've also seen real improvements in the days after meditation or particularly focused creative pursuits.

 

I started meditation shortly after I left my last job, and it has been a profoundly meaningful new addition to my health / wellness regime. I took a few Learn-to-Meditate classes, read some books, set up an east-facing meditation nook in my bedroom and have also attended several special guided meditation sessions. I am still finding my rhythm and trying to establish a steady practice, but I am encouraged by several neuroscience studies that have shown visible changes to the brain's structure and functioning through fMRIs in as little as eight weeks of meditation. I am particularly hopeful that it will help with the mental health issues that continue to challenge me, or at least give me more awareness of what's happening in my mind.

 

Every so often, but not nearly enough, I've been going running, taking long walks, or using my elliptical machine. It has been way more sporadic and unfocused than I'd like, both for energy and weight loss, but I always enjoy it, so I want to work some kind of activity into my daily routine. I did exactly one Vinyasa yoga class through YOME, and I absolutely loved it, but haven't done it since. This chilly February weather seems like the ideal time to start an indoor yoga practice or take advantage of the weights and kettle bell I have here.

 

I have also been tracking my meals and any digestive issues that arise. I was concerned that the regular GI issues I've had the past few years had become something more chronic, specifically irritable bowel syndrome or inflammatory bowel disease, and it was starting to really negatively affect my daily life. Shortly before Christmas I was discussing it with my mother, who got off the phone to watch a TV show with my father. In the first commercial break, she saw an ad for a nonprescription medication that was supposed to work miracles for IBS / IBD and excitedly texted me about it. I researched the active ingredients and found a different supplement, Heather's Tummy Tamers, which contain peppermint oil along with fennel and ginger. They have been astonishingly effective, especially in reducing the pain and inflammation that I was afraid had just become my lot in life. Taking these pills every day, with a concerted effort to stay better hydrated and eat more fruits and vegetables, has dramatically improved things.

 

One of the reasons I had decided to cut meat out of my diet (at first entirely, and now infrequently and carefully sourced) is that I used to experience days of pain, swelling, and intestinal bleeding whenever I ate meat. I still don't tolerate it as well as fully vegetarian or vegan meals, but I am encouraged that my GI system is healing and responding well to a different diet. Now that I have that better under control, I'd like to make another real effort at losing weight, so I started by just writing down what I ate this past month to see where things stand.

 

 

The overall distribution of my meals from January 4 to February 4 has been:

• 34% vegetarian
• 21% vegan
• 13% contained meat
• 32% skipped

 

This month was a bit skewed by spending more time than usual with my family, who pretty much always serve meat especially now that my brother is on the Atkins diet. I was surprised to see how many of my go-to meals and snacks were vegan. Of course this distribution doesn't tell the whole story, since Oreos aren't exactly the same as carrot sticks and hummus. I also see how many meals I skip, which I am certain contributes to overeating at other meals. So one of my projects this coming month is to get in the habit of eating breakfast and not skipping so many meals. I'd like to up the percentage of fully plant-based meals because I worry I am something of a Carbs-and-Cheese vegetarian much of the time.

 

I have switched from eating mostly prepared meals or restaurant and takeaway food to almost entirely home-cooked meals. I've made a real effort over the past few years to reduce the amount of processed foods I eat, so the meals I cook now are largely or entirely from scratch, starting as much with whole ingredients as possible. This too has made a huge difference in how I feel. I also swapped out low-fat dairy for full-fat organic across the board. Not only is it vastly more satisfying and tasty, but I actually lost weight when I did it, and I noticed a major improvement in my skin and hair. I've found a renewed passion for cooking and learned a lot of new techniques, like making pizza dough and focaccia bread from scratch. I am planning to try pasta, dumplings, tortillas, and empanadas from scratch too - which yes, I know, are not what immediately comes to mind as "diet food," but are somewhat essential components of my happiness.

 

In the past year I've tried all kinds of new vegetables (I know, right? It only took me until I was 35 to cook escarole for the first time), recipes and techniques. Some have been amazing and revelatory, especially Indian and Punjabi dishes, and others have been less successful, but worth trying. I am hoping to learn more Southeast Asian and especially Thai dishes, which should go well with my current eating style since there are so many vegetarian and vegan options. I believe it is possible, through a better balance of plant-based meals and eating more vegetables in general, combined with more mindful portions and most significantly, a big uptick in exercise, that I should be able to start losing weight without really "dieting" so much as continuing the changes I've made to my lifestyle already.

 

In addition to the perpetual weight loss goal, I also want to improve my sleep habits, energy levels, skin and hair, gastrointestinal health, and do as much as I can for my mental health. I'm putting a lot of faith in nutrition, exercise, and mindfulness, but I think it's the best and most sustainable approach for me.

 

This year has alleviated some major stresses, but introduced others. I left a stressful job, but took on the pressure of starting my own business and worrying about freelance work / self-employment. Because I've been working from home I now have more time to cook meals from scratch, but I'm no longer walking several miles during my commute. I've been addressing mental health from multiple angles, but I worry that if (probably when) I have to return to a job outside my home, I will undo the progress I've made. I also get really nervous looking at the column of hours of sleep that call to mind days where 14 or more hours weren't even a drop in the ocean of my exhaustion, and I know that's just not possible with an office job with regular hours.

 

My spreadsheet has been working incredibly well for tracking and improving my daily habits. It's also been a nice motivator itself, like when I'd really like to fill in a square, so I go make my bed or brush my teeth and get an instant boost. I will for sure continue using it and try to check in with myself at least once a month here to see how things are going. I am also considering photographing and posting some of my meals and recipes again, since that information has proven invaluable to me whenever I need inspiration or motivation to eat healthier. I certainly hope it can do the same for others.