Breakfast, Day Forty-Two

• 3 whole grain Wasa breads
• 1 tbsp Smart Balance peanut butter, 2 tsp honey, 1 tbsp wheat germ
• 2 Boca meatless breakfast links
• 1 banana

I ate this meal out of order, remembering that I had had crackers at breakfast time. It was a nice end to the day, as it wasn't one of the dense, heavy meals I've become accustomed to.

I really hope that I've been successful this week. I've made a concerted effort to follow the recipes precisely, getting exactly the right ingredients and trying not to make creative executive decisions or substitutions. I'm concerned about the two days when I had lunches off the meal plan, although I think I did better with it today than I did on Tuesday.

I need to get the gym situation together and get myself on a schedule, since I suspect that that is the only way I will really start tipping the scale in my favor. I actually started feeling like I was on a diet this week, where sometimes it was a challenge not to snack on other food or I felt ever-so-slightly deprived. It was difficult at times watching my boyfriend eat meat and cheeses with abandon (he went on Atkins this week), but I know that a balanced diet is the only way for me to do this successfully and make it work long-term.

Mood-wise, I'm finding a much greater stability and optimism lately - when I find myself really tired and overwhelmed, I can consistently eat a meal and know that I will completely regain my energy and enthusiasm. I used to depend on caffeine or really un-nutritious food for the same effect, but they never really worked since all the preservatives and chemicals had more noticable effects. I'm really thrilled to know that my body can respond to healthy, nutritious food as if I've just had several cups of coffee, but that this is the natural and beneficial way to gain energy.

My sleep is getting better as well, in part because I'm no longer waking up with an upset stomach, but I think also because I'm not waiting until I get so hungry that I fall asleep and go to bed without dinner - I'm getting a better quality of more restful sleep because my body is being fueled properly the way it wants. That's a really really good thing!

Still, I hope I've lost weight this week...